Sometimes we look at a couple in our lives and think to ourselves that that is ‘the relationship’. We see them and see a connection we want in our own lives, something we can emulate.
While we sometimes see this couple in real life, it’s hard to find people in our real lives who embody those kinds of goals. After all, people are people, and because we’re human, we’re not always the shining example of what we want to be.
Additionally, not everybody gets to learn about what they want out of a relationship through trial and error because not everyone gets to have those experiences. This is why more often than not, we find our “relationship goals” couples in fiction.
There’s a lot to be said for fictional relationships, but the big thing is that every fictional relationship is different and “relationship goals” in a totally different way. There’s a lot to love about how couples meet, how their spark ignites, and how much drama they deal with!
Regardless, depending on each person’s personality, their “relationship goals” will be totally different. Here is the couple we might find ourselves admiring depending on our Myers-Briggs personality type, plus how we can figure out our MYers Briggs personality type right now!
As an ISTP, you’re a flexible person who goes with the flow and makes sure to cut to the heart of what’s really going on. You’re not here for all the drama and you want a relationship that’s real. Things don’t have to be perfect, but as long as you and your partner genuinely like each other and there’s love there, you’ll feel like the luckiest person in the world.
This is why the Jim and Pam relationship on The Office really speaks to you. You really value that kind of connection because their love story wasn’t this epic, dramatic thing, but it was still earned.
As an ESTP, you’re a person who is kind of a sucker for that epic love thing that the movies sell you. However, you’re flexible and you dare to be weird, going wherever the wind takes you. You’re an intelligent person, but you’re the type who learns the world by being a part of it and really facing it rather than reading about it.
This is why when you fall in love, you’re cool with weirdness and even a little drama since you’re so spontaneous. While Dean and Castiel aren’t officially a couple, their dynamic is what you’re probably seeking out in your relationships because you’re all about doing your own thing with your partner by your side and it being you two against the world.
As an ISTJ, you are quiet and serious, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to have fun. Your idea of fun might be a little different than others because you’re so focused and analytical, but that’s fine by you because you’re not here to make anyone else comfortable, you’re here to do right by the people you care about and get done what you need to get done.
This is why a romance like Sheldon and Amy from the Big Bang Theory would really speak to you. You care less about epic love and more about loyalty and consistency because in your opinion, that’s what speaks to you the most about love.
As an ESTJ, you’re good with people, but you might not necessarily like them. You’re practical and decisive, so the end always justifies the means for you. You know what your values are and you want the people in your circle to live up to those values because that’s the level of accountability you hold yourself to.
In your world, everything has a place and you know where you belong. However, there’s a huge part of you that wants a relationship that shifts your whole world on its axis, which is why a relationship like Olitz from Scandalwould speak to you. It’s not the healthiest dynamic, but you have to admit they were incredibly fun to watch and they clearly loved each other.
As an INTJ, you are a person who has an unmatched intellect. When you get an idea in your head, you will implement that idea with all the drive and resilience that you have inside yourself, which is quite a lot. You’re kind of a skeptical person so falling in love isn’t really easy for you, but to be honest, the right person will make you stop and really take stock of your life so you can do right by your relationship.
This is why a relationship like Walter and Skyler White might have spoken to you. This isn’t to say that you want a relationship like theirs because (spoiler alert!) it didn’t end well and wasn’t healthy. However, you probably understand the impulse to descend into darkness to provide for the people you love.
As an ENTJ, you’re a person who’s decisive and to be honest, you’re a born leader. You’re very charismatic on your own so you probably have no shortage of people who find you attractive and interesting. After all, you’re smart and like learning, both from books and from people, and that kind of attitude attracts people.
You probably find yourself attracted to the forbidden, specifically, a person who is outside of your wheelhouse or your world. A great example of that kind of relationship is Jace Herondale and Clary Fray from Shadowhunters because they came from two different worlds and found common ground in each other, plus it was forbidden for a while.
As an INTP, you’re a person who is almost unsettlingly perceptive. It’s not that you don’t like people, it’s that you have a stark picture in your head of what people are capable of, and you’re particularly good at seeing when people are being duplicitous. You don’t believe you know everything, but you’re probably the type of person who feels like they’re generally one of the smarter people in the room, and you’re probably right about that!
That’s why you tend to love relationships where your partner is just as smart as you, but in a totally different way that makes you rethink things, like Dr. House and Dr. Cuddy. Their relationship crashed and burned in the end, but you don’t idealize the unhealthy parts of a dynamic like that.
As an ENTP, you’re one of the more intelligent people you know, not because you think you’re particularly well-read or educated, but because you like learning from the people around you. Everyone you meed is a new opportunity to expand your worldview. Your intelligence is shown most by your cutting wit and ability to have something to say to just about everything.
That’s why the relationships you idealize and the one you think you’ll be happiest in is the one that makes you come up short, with a person who you feel comfortable enough to call a good friend but still ignites a passion within you that you didn’t realize you had. That’s why something like the stable but loving Mondler couple stands out to you.
If you’re an ISFP, you’re a person who makes decisions based on your emotions and feelings, is very perceptive in your thinking and understanding, but generally is a person who is exactly as they present themselves. You are all about the present: you’re less likely to worry about the future because deep down, you know you got this. This is why you love relationships where both people are ride or die for each other, but you each have something to offer that brings the best out of each other.
A great example of that kind of relationship is Sam and Gilly from Game of Thrones because of how sweet they are to each other and how well they’ve survived together in Westeros. It’s also notable that this is the one couple that is both healthy and not related to one another, so there’s that too!
As an ESFP, you’re a person who wears their heart on their sleeve. What you see is basically what you get, at least to those you let your guard down around. People who don’t know you well might think of you as a charismatic enigma, but to be honest, you actually like it that way. There’s a part of you that likes being romanticized, which is why the relationships that you’re drawn to have a lot of that.
There’s a part of you that wants a partner that can bring a little drama but is capable of making you want to give up everything for that person. That’s why you might find relationships like Carrie and Big from SATC interesting to watch, even if that’s not something you’re going to want in your real relationships.
As an ISFJ, you’re a responsible person who’s cool working in the background if it means your goals get accomplished. You stop at nothing to achieve your goals and you want the people around you to be happy and will do what you have to do to make that happen. That being said, while you’re friendly to people, your inner circle is very small.
This is why the relationships you find interesting are the ones where seemingly average people contain multitudes and are more interesting than meets the eye, like Elena and Stefan from Vampire Diaries. They had their issues, but they clearly cared about each other and helped bring out each other’s inner awesome, at least for a while.
As an ESFJ, you’re a person who has a warm heart and can cooperate with people around you, working together to create great things with all kinds of people. When you say you can get along with basically everyone, you mean it. You follow through in everything you intend to do, making you an extremely rare breed.
The relationships that fascinate you are the ones where the two people elevate each other, but there’s also raw chemistry there that is unmatched in any other relationship. That’s why relationships like Sookie and Bill from True Blood fascinate you. They were loyal to each other despite their differences and were always passionate about each other.
As an INFP, you’re a romantic, almost to a fault. You have high standards that won’t be swayed by just anybody, which is why you might often find yourself dealing with people who might not be worth your time because you’re basically stuck on them. You’re a kindhearted person who sees good and potential in everyone, so you’re willing to work past a lot of things in order to get to a point where things can really work.
That’s why you love relationships like Ted and Robin from How I Met Your Mother. Ted and Robin eventually worked out in the end, but they had a long journey to get there and that’s a huge part of what makes them aspirational to some people.
As an ENFP myself, I can tell you that we’re pretty out there when it comes to our personalities. We’re driven and passionate about what we believe in, but we’re also bubbly people. That being said, I think ENFPs have a core of steel that makes them endure in the face of extremely long odds and makes them work hard for the things they care about.
This is why you love relationships that are between two weird, like-minded people that are drama free and happy, like Ben and Leslie from Parks and Recreation. Once they worked out their initial problems, they were one of the happiest couples television had ever seen, and that’s kind of what we want most out of our relationships.
As an INFJ, you’re just as emotional as your NFP counterparts, you’re just not as optimistic about the world because you know that people, while they can be great, are also capable of really disappointing us. This is why you love relationships where both partners endure together and manage to still love each other under increasing pressure, like Jax and Tara from Sons of Anarchy.
Without revealing everything, this couple doesn’t work out in the end, but while they were together, they were loyal to each other and clearly loved each other, and that’s what you want. You have no delusions that things will be perfect all the time, you just want someone who will embrace your imperfections.
As an ENFJ, you’re in tune with the needs of other people, even if you don’t show it all the time. You see the potential in everyone and are often the person people talk to right before they experience a shift in their thinking or internal growth as a person. You lead by facilitating others and not by establishing yourself as a leader, allowing your personality to show through.
The relationships that speak to you are the ones that show one or both partners growing and becoming better as a result of the partnership, like Brittany and Santana from Glee. Considering all the relationships in that show, this one stands out because they were the healthiest and clearly had the best communication skills.
First, let’s break down the first letter of the MBTI system. If you’re an extrovert, you’re a person who likes and feels comfortable around people and might not need to recharge emotionally after being in a situation with a lot of people. You may even be unhappy if there’s not enough going on around you.
If you’re an introvert, you’re a person who would rather seek solitude than be around people. This doesn’t mean you dislike people (although some introverts and even extroverts genuinely dislike people), it just means that you’d rather be around fewer people as a rule.
The next letter refers to how we process the situations we deal with in life and how we prioritize things. If you’re a sensing person, you deal with what is in the here and now. You’re not here to overanalyze or see what isn’t there: you want to get to the heart of a situation so you can work things out.
If you’re a person who uses their intuition, you’re a person who looks to the future and plays the long game rather than focusing simply on the present, seeing the subtext in things. Neither is right or wrong, it’s just how we do things and a matter of perspective.
The third letter is actually pretty straightforward. If you’re a thinking person, you’re a person who makes a decision based on your mind and on hard evidence. You’re not the type to jump on into something because your gut told you to and you’d rather think things through even a little bit before moving forward.
If you’re a person who makes decisions based on feelings, that’s basically exactly what it sounds like. You’d rather go based on your gut and emotions rather than getting too much into the weeds. You feel and then act, and that’s enough for you.
Finally, we have the last letter, which ties into how we see the outside world and how we structure our lives. If you’re a judging person, you’re the type who would rather set your decisions in stone and feel comfort in knowing the decision has been made and is final. You take the information you’ve been given and go from there with confidence.
If you’re a perceiving person, you’d rather leave things as open as you can so you can change your mind if you need to. You know that things can change at the drop of a hat if you have new information and you want to explore those options as they come.