ENFJ relationships are often full of inspiration, affection, and fun. This Myers-Briggs personality is defined as being extraverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging. This is one of the less common Myers-Briggs personalities, accounting for an estimated two percent of the population. This type of extravert is often well-loved wherever they go and is very dedicated to finding the right life-long companion. An ENFJ searching for love, however, may find it difficult to restrain their own negative traits which can doom a relationship.
As mentioned earlier, ENFJ relationships are usually a lot of fun. ENFJ individuals are outgoing and will never cease to inspire and entertain a partner. As this type of personality thrives in a social atmosphere, “givers” are happiest with individuals who are comfortable having a large social circle and the societal responsibilities that can be entailed in this type of lifestyle. ENFJs will put forth all of their efforts to give a relationship a genuine shot and are always looking for the long-haul relationship. They are excellent communicators of their own thoughts and feelings and can also sense the needs of their partner, which makes for a very open and honest relationship.
Most ENFJs will overlook their own needs in lieu of seeing to the needs of others. This is usually done without a thought, although some individuals will elect to ignore their own desires, even some of the most basic ones. This can be an unhealthy practice in a relationship and it is important that ENFJs train themselves to reflect on their own needs and to ensure that they take positive action to see them fulfilled. Where an ENFJ fails to do this, the partner must take it upon his or her to anticipate these unfulfilled needs and to address any unbalance within the relationship. For instance, Joe might tell his “giver” that he appreciates that she is always seeing to his happiness, but he would like an equal chance to make her happy, too. Partners have to stand their ground and ignore appeasing comments like, “Seeing you happy makes me happy.”
The “giver’s” need to make others happy and to “do what’s best” can kick into overdrive and become smothering. A companion would need to be bold and speak up when their ENFJ partner becomes overprotective or oppressive. They may frequently ask what their partner is feeling or thinking about in an attempt to search for a nook and cranny in the relationship that has been left unfulfilled. If left unchecked this kind of behavior will push away the “giver’s” partner and inevitably destroy the relationship. This isn’t an easy task for a partner to take on, however, as ENFJs tend to be sensitive and will take criticism very seriously. Broaching the subject of overprotection/smothering will need to be done delicately and in a manner that lets the ENFJ know that he or she isn’t a bad person or companion – just a little overzealous in the Care Department.
ENFJs will try to fulfil their role as a partner/spouse/parent to the best of their ability and generally make good parents. Although prone to being overprotective, “givers” are very affectionate parents who want to see their children well-adjusted. Their own extravert nature may cause them to push their child into social activities such as play dates, sports, or after-school programs from a young age. However, if they sense that their child is unhappy or if their partner drops hints that the child is being overwhelmed, the ENFJ will most likely back off.
The personalities that seem most compatible with the ENFJ are the INFP (introverted, intuitive, feeling, perceiving) and INTP (introverted, intuitive, thinking, perceiving). An introverted personality will complement the extraverted ENFJ nicely by allowing the “giver” to exercise his or her ability to draw out an individual’s personality. It also provides them with the goal of peeling back each layer of the introvert’s personality and being rewarded with a closer look at the true individual beneath. Another intuitive individual would best suit the ENFJ because they would have the shared ability to sense and provide for one another’s needs. This is very important for a selfless “giver” who will eagerly ignore his or her own wants. Perceiving individuals, with a flexible and adaptive lifestyle can help to loosen-up the structured lifestyle of the judging personality. This trait will also ensure that the ENFJs partner is open to on-the-fly or last-minute social plans.