People usually cry when they feel genuinely sad about something. They cry when their loved ones die.
They cry when somebody hurts their feelings. They cry when they feel lonely. They cry when they feel helpless.
You probably think narcissists don’t cry. Actually, they do, but for different reasons.
You see, the general misconception is that narcissists cannot cry because they are not able to feel any emotions.
But the truth is that narcissists do have emotions. Their emotions are usually negative like anger, hatred, and envy.
They have no empathy for anyone. But what they do have is a huge talent for acting.
All those expressions of happiness, excitement, and sadness that your narcissist expresses are usually what is called a learnt behavior.
They have been observing other people all their lives. They have been taking notes on how to act in various situations.
They have been mastering the art of faking every single emotion.
So, don’t get fooled if you see a narcissist cry! They are high class manipulators. They are natural born actors.
Has your narcissist ever cried?
If yes, then take a moment now to recall all those instances when your narcissist shed tears.
Do you notice any patterns?
Do you notice that every time you threatened to leave him, he started crying his eyes out?
Do you notice that every time he felt he would lose a good source of narcissistic supply—you—he started crying?
The tears of your narcissist were real. But he did not start crying for the reasons you thought.
He did not start crying because he felt sorry for what he had done to you.
He did not start crying because he loved you so much that he couldn’t live without you.
Well, actually, his life would have gotten a bit harder if he had lost you as a source of energy. But he never loved you.
He never felt sorry for anything he had done to you. As a matter of fact, he thought you actually deserved some bad treatment.
He cried because he felt sorry for himself. He cried because he felt powerless. He cried because he wanted to trick you into staying.
Did he succeed at doing it? Did you stay after all?
Yes, you probably did.
You probably stayed several times because at those moments when you saw him crying, you instantly forgot about the abuse, about all the bad treatments, and you felt sorry for him.
That is exactly what narcissists are counting on. They want you to empathize with them.
Their role play of a victim suits them perfectly. And tears go along with that role.
Their tears are selfish. They cry crocodile tears.
When they start crying, you become the bad one. You are victimizing them. You have the nerve to leave them? You should be ashamed of yourself!
This is what they make you believe. They make you feel guilty for even mentioning leaving.
The next thing you’ve probably noticed is that their tears can easily turn off and turn into rage.
Once they notice their pity ploy is not working, they get furious. Their mask slips off, and from a make-believe victim they transform into an abuser again.
They use shaming language on you, and they can get pretty vocal. They don’t understand how you dare to threaten to leave them.
When a narcissist cries at funerals, he might seem like the most affected person.
He will cry the loudest because it is his way of getting attention in the form of sympathy.
The narcissist never cares about the late person, only about the narcissistic supply he lost with the death of that person.
But there are some exceptions.
Sometimes, but very rarely, narcissists will not even cry.
They will stay cold and distant no matter what happens. That coldness is usually only in front of you.
They don’t want to put lots of effort in front of you and act like they care about something.
They will only cry if they feel threatened with your departure.
But when it comes to public displays of affection and sadness, well, they are great at it.
They will exaggerate and either be the kindest person in the world or the saddest one.
Covert narcissists will be harder to spot because they don’t want to stand out from the crowd, but overt ones will be attention seekers.
The more covert the narcissist is, the better performance he will have. His emotions will seem more credible.
And these types of narcissists are the most malignant ones. You will stay longest with them, and the consequences will be brutal for your mental health.
Crying for narcissists means putting on a good show. They want you to take a seat, have your eyes on them, and watch.
You are their audience and they want to get applause. They want you to be a part of their charade.
If you just observed them with patience, you would notice how hollow their tears really are. They cry to manipulate.
They cry to not get exposed. They cry for themselves.
These people are miserable human beings. Deep down they feel hatred and disgust even for themselves.
They are aware that they are not as perfect as they pretend to be. Their emotional numbness makes them envious of anyone who can express their emotions freely.
They hate. They envy. They get mad. But they never feel sorry for others.
A narcissist will never have any empathy for you. They are evil, and they will never change. They will never feel sorry for anything wrong they do.
Don’t question your abuse when you see a narcissist cry and think they do have empathy and emotions like normal people do.
They do cry and their tears are real.
But don’t fall for those crocodile tears of theirs!
Next time your narcissist starts crying, just roll your eyes and leave!
You definitely do not have time to waste on cheap plays, crappy monologues, and pathetic, lousy actors.