Romantic relationships can be one of the most rewarding parts of life, but it can also be one of the most stressful. Women have become the stereotypical nagger, complainer or worry-wart in relationships. But, believe it or not, men have been known to stress over the silly things in relationships just as much as his female counterpart. It is simply human nature to fret over the things we love the most.
We know what women stress about in relationships. Who is going to make the first move? Is it too soon to say I love you? Am I becoming too clingy? What is he doing when I’m not around?
But what is it that stresses men out the most in a relationship? Do they care if she doesn’t answer his phone call? Will it matter to them what you wear on the night out? Does he worry you’ll find someone more attractive?
What really goes on in his mind? You might be surprised to learn that, though men have some of the same stresses as women in relationships, a lot of their stresses you would never have guessed. Here are the top 20 things that really stress a man out in a relationship and, as an added bonus, five that he absolutely does not care about.
Men talk a big game when it comes to getting a girl’s number. They have been known to promise the world when need be. Men worry if, once in the relationship, will the girl still be interested in him?
He really wants you to find him interesting, so much so that he stresses about it throughout the relationship. Can he come up with something witty enough for you during your late-night convos, or will you become bored out of your mind?
It’s not just women who worry about those extra pounds on the belly. According to Cosmopolitan, most men feel they are a lot younger than they actually are. And when they were, in fact, younger, they could eat and drink as much as they wanted to and stay in shape. That’s not the case anymore, though.
Once that belly starts to emerge, he’ll start stressing about you seeing him in such a vulnerable state and running for the hills.
Going back to not being interested enough, men stress about deciding what to talk about in the first place. Communication is the key to a good relationship; we all know that, but for men, it has a whole different meaning.
Huffington Post says men have a sort of fear about communicating openly and honestly. “We feel like we can’t always say what we want to say without starting a fight.” A lot of men just give up on communicating after a while.
Money is a huge deal for men. It ties into their need to be the head of the household, the one who brings home the bacon. Historically, this has been the man’s role and it’s been beaten into their heads over and over again. He wants to be able to treat his woman like the queen she is and stresses about not being able to.
The typical man will probably worry quite often on whether you wish he made more money than he does now.
Ask anyone and they’ll probably name this as one of the most annoying arguments people in a relationship have – where do you want to eat for dinner. It’s this back and forth banter that usually ends up in one or both parties upset and/or still hungry.
According to Cosmopolitan, if a man has not specifically suggested a restaurant to eat at, he does not care where you guys go to eat. “Just say something, anything. We’re starving.” To put it plainly, if he cared, he would tell you so.
There’s a lot of pressure put on men to find the perfect gift for a special occasion. He works really hard to find the one thing that’s both meaningful and wonderful at the same time. Women always pull that line, “I don’t want anything,” but most men know that’s not always true.
When it comes to gift giving, a lot of men actually stress a lot over it. It’s a real blow to their ego when you end up not liking the gift they’ve picked for you.
For most women, family is everything and their family means a whole lot to them. There’s a reason the man is expected to ask his girl’s father for permission to marry her before popping the question. If a girl’s family doesn’t approve of her choice in man, she will inevitably endure a lot of criticism and backlash.
Any man in the right mind is going to stress about getting the family’s approval. The in-law’s approval will play a huge part in the base of the entire relationship.
Imagine being in a relationship with someone you find dull and boring. That doesn’t sound like fun at all, right? Men want to keep their girl entertained in all aspects of their life together. Boredom never leads to anything good. A bored woman will start to overthink everything and could potentially begin to look elsewhere for excitement in life.
A good man is going to stress about you becoming bored in the relationship and with him. Your boredom will ignite some sort of insecurity in him.
Don’t ever think it is just women who feel the pressure to look good for their partner, because it’s not. Men face a whole lot of different problems than women do. We’re talking beer gut, hair loss, hair where it shouldn’t be, etc.
According to MadameNoire, men are too busy fretting over their own imperfections to really even notice a woman’s insecurities. A lot of men try really hard to be seen as attractive, and yours is probably stressing about staying attractive to you.
Women notice every inch and pound gained on our bodies. Men don’t always see this, though. More often than not, men don’t care if you gain a little weight during your relationship together. He probably hasn’t even noticed.
According to Cosmopolitan, “Unless you point it out, we’re not even thinking about it.” He’s too busy staring into your pretty eyes and sharing a smile with you to notice what’s going on around the hips and thighs.
Survival of the relationship is a huge concern for both men and women. Getting into a committed relationship is no easy feat and would be silly if it was done for no reason at all. Men don’t commit themselves completely if they don’t see and want a future with their partner.
You man most definitely has some stresses about where the future of the relationship is going and he probably worries you don’t see yourself marrying him in the long run.
Women deal with a lot of things in life, and sometimes there are some of us who will deal with unhappiness if it means another person is happy. For this very reason, men stress about whether their girl might be secretly unhappy in the relationship.
A man needs to know he’s making his woman happy, but if she’s always sacrificing her own well being for the sake of his feelings, he won’t be sure she is truly happy. Even if he asks, she’ll probably say yes, but he’ll still stress about it.
Along with caring about their looks, men typically care about the way they dress, too. He probably won’t admit it, but you man definitely cares about what you think of his wardrobe. You’ll notice it in the little things he does like only wear the things you’ve approved of when you’re around.
This is especially true during big occasions. You’ve managed to get all dolled up and look absolutely amazing, but your man is going to be feeling stressed about choosing the right clothing when standing next to you.
Just because men don’t openly envy other men, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It’s human nature to look at others and compare yourself to them. MadameNoire says, “Next time your guy says, “What a douche” about some guy he bumps shoulders with at the bar, you can bet he thinks that “douche” has a better set of arms/bank account/head of hair/clothes.”
Because he is sizing himself up against other men, he stresses about whether you, too, are comparing him to someone else.
Guys are visual creatures, it’s true, but you can guarantee your man doesn’t care whether or not you’re wearing makeup. Half of the time, he probably doesn’t notice when you are wearing makeup. According to Cosmopolitan,“Nothing is wrong with wanting to look good; just never apologize to a guy for just rolling out of bed and throwing some clothes on.”
There’s a time and place for getting all dolled up, but you don’t need to be worried about your man seeing you in your natural state either.
No one wants to feel like other people are talking bad about them. It just doesn’t feel good. As strong as men seem, deep down, they are just as sensitive as women and need help feeling confident sometimes. Men are supposed to be good at so many things; society has made it so they aren’t supposed to mess up.
If a man is being criticized, he knows he’s not doing something right and he will start to feel inferior.
They say opposites attract, but opposites don’t always have something to talk about. It’s an amazing feeling when you find someone you can totally geek-out with on a specific subject matter. It’s like two people becoming one.
This is important in a lot of relationships. When you share a common interest, you will have an easier time finding something to talk about and do together. In relationships, men stress about sharing or not sharing common interests with their significant other.
“Fighting is never fun, but fighting dirty drives him totally coo-coo,” explains Cosmopolitan. When a man feels you are trying to take control over him and assert power during highly intense moments, such as arguments, he is going to take it as a threat and it will definitely trigger some stress.
Cosmopolitan says, “Delivering an ultimatum is the prime example of you trying to dominate the relationship.” When you tell a man, “Do this or I’ll leave you,” you’ve left feeling frustrated and powerless.
You don’t like getting the silent treatment from your man, do you? So why should he enjoy it? When a person acts distant and cool to their significant other, it causes the other person to become really upset. According to Baylor University for Cosmopolitan, giving a man the silent treatment will make him feel neglected and not cared for.
Instead of leaving the length of silence open, you can simply ease a man’s stress by letting him know you just need a few minutes or a couple of hours to calm down alone.
Saying “I love you” is like the climax of a new relationship. It’s a momentous occasion for women. It’s not exactly that big of a deal for men. Typically, you’ll find a woman waiting for the man to say those three magical words and if she says them first, she is probably stressing out about taking something away from the man.
Allow me to let you in on a little secret, he doesn’t care who says it first. More than likely, he’ll say it back to you, so don’t be afraid.
Men experience a lot of different levels of stress throughout their day. The last thing they want after a hard day is to come home to a place that’s supposed to be safe and relaxing and get nagged at endlessly.
According to Cosmopolitan, men are actually more vulnerable in relationships than women. When things feel uneasy for women, they turn to their friends. But for men, their partner is usually their only intimate connection. Don’t bite his head off after he’s had a long day.
Men don’t really care if his friends like you, but he really stresses on whether you are going to like his friends or not. He needs his buds to make a good impression on you. The one moment of you meeting them is a huge deal for him. Before you, his pals were all he had, but now you’ve slid into that number one spot.
He definitely doesn’t want to lose either one of you now, but if you don’t approve of his friends, he knows it’s going to be hard getting some guy time.
No matter how smart or strong a man seems, he still stresses about making mistakes. When dealing with a woman in a relationship, he knows there are so many things he can do wrong that will affect both his girl and the relationship. He doesn’t want to say the wrong things or slip up in any way.
Because of all the different possible ways he can mess up, he stresses a lot about making an unforgivable mistake and losing you.
Trust is one of the biggest foundations of a good relationship. Both men and women need to feel they are trusted by their partners. Without trust, there really isn’t anything. Trust is a big word and can mean a lot of different things. Do you trust your partner with taking care of your child or your pet? Or it can go a different route in trusting them to not cheat on you.
Men need to feel they are trusted and will stress about not having your trust in them.
Your girls mean everything to you no doubt. But your girls don’t exactly mean everything to him. He wants your friends to approve of him, but truth be told, he doesn’t really care if they like him.
Cosmopolitan says, “As long as they don’t loathe us, we’re OK with them thinking we’re not perfect.” You might be super stressed about having your friends like your partner, but he doesn’t feel the same way. He’s not dating them; he’s dating you.