There are a lot of things we can blame when it comes to an unsuccessful or unhappy love life. We have daddy issues, mommy issues, parental issues in general, a desperate need to please everyone around us, an attraction to toxic people, poor self-esteem, confusion surrounding love versus lust, a limited dating pool–the list is truly endless.
But all are very important when it comes to unpacking how we behave in relationships and react and relate to other people. One thing that might be worth considering in this mix of romantic misadventures: your astrology sign!
There are strengths and weaknesses to all 12 signs, and some can even operate simultaneously and hinder our romantic prospects. Perhaps it’s the stars who have been to blame all along for our perpetual habit of sabotaging our own happiness!
Taking a look at the two ways our astrological signs might define our negative behavior and patterns could help us to learn and grow from them, if not cease behaving that way altogether. Love may be on the horizon for us, so we’d do well to remember that it takes two people to make a relationship work–but we’ve got to start with ourselves, right?
Libra hates to rock the boat, preferring instead to have a relationship that operates harmoniously–or at least one that appears to.
If you’re born under this sign, you despise direct confrontation and would much rather approach your issues in a roundabout fashion, which gives you a passive-aggressive edge.
Rather than tell your partner what’s been bothering you, you’ll instead give the silent treatment or make them guess what they did to upset you. You might think this is a better way to handle conflict but in truth, it harms your relationship way more than it helps it.
In your quest to always keep the peace and make sure everyone is happy, Libra, you can also be kind of smothering. Your constant need to check in with your partner to know if they’re okay, if you’re doing enough, or if there’s anything else they want or need might feel compassionate and empathetic to you, but in actuality, it can be kind of suffocating! This quality is a mostly subtle way of exhibiting control over your relationships, which freedom-loving signs may not be able to handle. Of course, no one appreciates being controlled, however well-intentioned your motives are.
A sign that often sees the worst in people, a Scorpio like you demands absolute transparency from your partner. Even if you don’t want to hear it, you feel that the Devil you know is better than the Devil you don’t.
The thing is, though, you’re hesitant to offer the same consideration for your partner.
Instead, you like to keep your cards close to the chest and maintain your own secrets because, on some level, you always need to have the upper hand to shield your vulnerability. But it’s not good for your relationship or your coping mechanisms.
Ruled by Pluto, the sign of death, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Scorpio can get a little negative about most things in life. Since you often can’t control the bad or pessimistic thoughts that float around in your own mind, you assume everyone else around you is the same, and so you tend to expect the worst in people. While this could conceivably save you from future pain, it really ends up souring the mood of everyone around you and every relationship you’ve been in. After all, you’re always essentially waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Your need for freedom and thirst for adventure may make you a fun person to be around, but you tend to be absolutely awful in relationships! You run so hot and cold, not even your best friends can keep up with your whims!
Commitment terrifies you because you see it as the loss of your independence rather than the gaining of a partner for life.
Defining a relationship by what you may lack in it actually limits the amount of adventures you can enjoy since they’re always solo. You’re likely driving people away and are probably even more comfortable doing that than opening up.
The sign of the archer, you, Sagittarius, are a straight-shooter. Your honesty and openness have been some of your greatest and most defining assets. But, unfortunately, they also mean that you aren’t the most diplomatic creature in the astro-world. Your passion for honesty and truthfulness can cause you to forget that your words affect people, and you risk saying things you’ll end up regretting. It makes for a constant case of foot-in-mouth. You likely believe that honesty is the best policy, but you shouldn’t forget that empathy and tact are important, too. Continuing on this way will only leave you honest and alone.
There is no such thing as a casual relationship with a Capricorn because anyone that you would consider inconsequential enough to merit a casual situation doesn’t warrant your time anyway!
Your pickiness has been a great help in a lot of ways, as you carefully choose the major decisions that make up much of your life, but it can be a hindrance when it comes to selecting a partner.
Your must-have list is extensive and exhausting and can cause you to miss out on a lot of experiences that could add a little more color to your structured existence.
Your dedication to your career has gotten you very far, and you’ve never failed to impress anyone who meets you. However, too often you put work ahead of relationships and shun those who ask for more of your time. Rather than understand that they want you around, you see their need as a demand that you sacrifice your career for their happiness. This can cause you to push people away since you find connecting inconvenient. Giving yourself a little bit more work-life balance is necessary to keep sane, or at least to develop an understanding the value of a balance.
A sign that thinks more with its head than with its heart, an Aquarius like you always likes to consider the logical and intellectual elements before even dipping a toe in emotional waters.
As a result of this, you can end up getting lost in your head as you craft the perfect response–and what comes out of your mouth may be less than sympathetic or understanding.
It comes across as you giving the cold shoulder, which can irritate and hurt your partner, who feels like you haven’t even attempted to comprehend what they’re telling you.
Considered to be one of the most independent signs in astrology, Aquarius likes to go her own way when it comes to life. You enjoy your own schedule and traditions, and it can be a lot to ask of you to make changes. In fact, sometimes you just feel stubborn and refuse to acquiesce just because. Your hesitance to commit can make your partner feel like you don’t have room for them in your life, and your unwillingness to assuage them of that fact hurts them all the more. But in the end, refusing to change will only drive them away.
Pisces girl, you’re such a romantic that when it comes to relationships, you give everything you have and more. Truly a lover and not a fighter, you almost always back down when it comes to times of conflict and confrontation because you want to return to those softer, sweeter times before an argument began.
As a result, you risk becoming a total doormat with a partner who walks all over you.
The problem is that you still don’t kick them to the curb even when their offenses are obvious. You want to see the best in everyone but sometimes there is no good side.
A dreamer and someone who loves the idea of love (perhaps more than love itself), you have fantastical notions about what it means to be in a relationship. You need things to be as epic as the stories you read and your sensitive disposition has you confusing some of the more toxic elements of a relationship with passion and love. You’re so committed to being one part of a couple rather than a whole person in your own right that you lose yourself and no longer recognize the person you are when you’re standing on your own two feet.
As the “youngest” sign, an Aries like you often can’t control their temper–or much else, for that matter! You have a hard time keeping a level head in just about every situation.
You’re ready to blow up at a moment’s notice and your relationships (romantic or otherwise) have often been filled with high-octane drama and fights that make you worthy of your own reality show.
Real Housewives of Astrology, anyone? Your first response to most confusing or complex feelings you have is to lash out, and that is what makes your relationships so unstable.
Part of the impulsivity that makes you such a magnetic person, Aries girl, also has you having to constantly apologize for blurting out what’s on your mind before thinking it through. You’re a reactive sign and so much of the time, your first response is aggression or defensiveness. If your partner is the sensitive type, this can be a constant source of headache and heartache and puts you in the unfortunate position of having to apologize constantly, which isn’t exactly a healthy relationship dynamic. Try thinking things through for once–it could just help improve your relationship.
A warm and sensual member of astrology, a Taurus like you prefers to express herself via physical touch, which is wonderful–to a point.
Depending on how your partner is, you can get a little too touchy-feely to the point of clinginess.
You can be insecure at times, which spurs your need to constantly feel them there. Holding hands, kissing in public, or just generally hanging off of your SO are normal for you. But this can get to be a little much for them, making them feel uncomfortable or even resentful when you pile on the PDA.
As the sign of the bull, you can get more than a little jealous, Taurus girl. You hate to have anyone come between you and your love, and that can have you seeing red at even the most innocuous of gestures or remarks. Your need to engage with your partner could lead to uproarious fights that comes from a deep pit of jealousy inside you. You may try to be possessive of your SO, but if they start to distance themselves or just need some personal space, you take it to heart as a slight and a sign of greater conflict.
You love to talk, Gemini girl, and you have the gift of gab that makes it easy for you to forge friendships and connect with others. Communication is one of your strongest suits but, unfortunately, it can mean that you’re one of the worst secret-keepers of all the signs!
In an effort to connect with others, you’ll spill stories that were meant for your ears only, sowing seeds of distrust between you and your partner.
After all, if they’ve told you something in confidence only to hear about it from someone else, how can they trust you again?
A social butterfly through and through, a Gemini like you is unlikely to ever feel lonely. You’d much rather be surrounded by people and good conversation than be introspective but occasionally, your chatty nature can be taken the wrong way. Your love of laughter and witty repartee is infectious, but it can be seen as flirting to those who don’t know you better. As a result of this, your habits have gotten you into hot water with past SOs who thought that you had your hands in a lot of other people’s pockets. While you might be able to talk yourself out of such a situation, it’s still something that has harmed your past relationships.
You give your partners and loved ones whiplash with how quickly you jump from mood to mood, Cancer!
You take everything to heart–even though that’s the way it’s rarely meant–and it can make you change your tune at the drop of a hat.
It’s exhausting to keep up with your emotions much of the time, and if you have a partner who is less than extremely patient, you’ve probably had a lot of rough breakups in your past. Your highs are high and your lows are very, very low, and it takes a certain caliber of partner to be able to handle that.
One of your biggest weaknesses, Cancer, is that you are super sensitive to all criticism. Chances are, you’ve been hurt by a passing remark that wasn’t intended to be a barb because it preys on the insecurity you already recognize deep within yourself. You can be your own worst critic and self-saboteur as you look for reasons not to be happy or content (sadness is much more romantic and cinematic anyway, right?). Having to walk on eggshells around you can become too much for most people, which partly explains your love life–or lack thereof.
If it’s not big, bold, explosive, and passionate, it’s simply not for you, right, Leo?
You have always found yourself drawn to situations and people that others may not have the stomach or the guts to endure, and that has often put you in toxic relationships with people who aren’t good for you (or good enough).
You equate drama and passion and love regaling others with your sordid tales of love–lost or otherwise. Stability can bore you and make you feel like you’re not enough, when in fact, it’s exactly the thing you need.
Ruled by the sun, a Leo woman like you craves the spotlight, often at the expense of others. You see yourself as the protagonist in every story, and, even though it’s rarely intentional, you always have to be number one. The thing is, relationships are meant to be a partnership. But when someone dates you, they often feel like they’re simply following in your wake rather than walking alongside you. You may expect the best treatment from everyone around you, like a queen with her court, but your selfishness can lead you to do the exact opposite to everyone else.
As a sign that tends to choose the wallflower position over being in the spotlight, you occasionally find yourself passed over in favor of more confident prospects. You hate the idea of putting yourself out there because you’re terrified of rejection.
While you are an incredibly detail-oriented sign, that means you’ve thought of a million and one ways or reasons any given situation could go wrong and that leaves you paralyzed, immobile for fear of losing.
Your shyness inhibits you from meeting some amazing people because they can’t always be coming to you–sometimes you have to put yourself out there.
In many cases, your perfectionistic streak can be an asset. It’s made you excel in your professional life, for sure, but it cane lead you to focus more on being #relationshipgoals than the actual relationship. Too often, you view your partner as a project or as something to be fixed, which shortchanges the both of you and severely limits the relationship. Trying to fit someone into an arbitrary ideal you think you need is just as toxic to you as it is to them and will leave you always wanting–especially when the other party decides they’ve had enough of being molded.