You’re missing me. I miss you. I miss our days together where we could laugh about everything. I miss the way we lay in my bed and just understood each other without words.
I miss the way you always looked at me and gave me the feeling of security. I miss the way you wrote me a message every day at 5pm, just to show me that you are thinking of me. This made me butterflies in the stomach and I immediately had the desire to press your lips against mine.
I miss it, how we could talk to each other. We talked about everything, I could never trust someone like that. And I miss it, how you knew exactly when you should say nothing and just held me in your arms.
I miss saying to someone at the bar, “Sorry, I’m forgiven,” and looking at you on the other side of the room. I miss the way you kissed me, even when I had the flu. And as you said, “I do not care, I would kiss you all day if I could” .
I miss the way we hide our kisses from other people, as if we were something desirous, something too good for others to see. I miss the way you always had a smile on your face while kissing. I miss it, as you’ve always told me, how excited you were to see me when I came to your apartment and how you were really upset when I did not have time to come.
I miss the way you’ve always struggled to find time to get me to an important date. That has always made me feel so important, safe and cared for. Or how you brought me chocolates or chocolate, if you knew that I had a busy day behind me. I miss also, how you really looked forward to my funny, homemade gifts.
I miss the way you called me for no reason just to ask how my day has gone.
I miss you and the way you laughed at yourself for getting bald prematurely. I miss seeing your friends say to me like you’ve never talked about a girl the way you talked about me. And I miss to prepare dinner for you and your friends and never feel alone.
I miss how my friends persuaded me to go out with you but then to be convinced that I made the right choice. I miss our unpleasant first date and how you did not dare to kiss me goodbye and I miss how happy I was that day.
I miss the way you have always hugged me tightly and I had the desire that you would never let me go again.
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And how you always told me that I make you happy. But above all, I miss the man who showed me that I made him happy and not the one who just said it because I asked. The one who only wanted to spend the night with me when I was ready. The one who has done everything to spend at least a little time with me. I miss the man who was proud to have me by his side.
I do not miss the situation when you gave me short answers to my questions.
Or when you did not even offer to pay for the dinner together. I do not miss the situation when you filled my head and heart with empty promises.
I do not miss the man who told me that our relationship has no future. Or that you made me cry because of the argument we had over the end of the relationship. I do not miss what you have become, but the man I met.
I do not miss the man who stopped trying and did not want to fight for us. The one who gave me up very quickly. I do not miss the man who kissed another girl right in front of my eyes after he kissed me like never before. Or the one who did not answer when I asked him how he spent the day.
I miss you. The man I’ve fallen head over heels in, someone who is very different from the man I left.