Most people have experienced some kind of toxic relationship in their lives. Defined by Psychology Today as any relationship that is unfavorable to you or others, a toxic relationship can contain any behavior that consistently threatens each person’s security, safety, and overall happiness. Leaving toxic relationships behind sounds easy in theory, but millions of people stay in them long after they should leave.
There are endless reasons why people stay, ranging from a low self-esteem and not believing they’ll get anything better, to not wanting to disappoint their partner by breaking up, to truly believing that things will change in the future. Whatever the reason, the longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the more you’re putting your wellbeing (and that of your partner) at risk. It’s good to know what might trigger you to stay, so you can defeat those obstacles and get yourself out.
That’s where the Astrological signs come in. Each of the twelve signs has her own reasons for staying in toxic relationships long after she should leave. Some signs are more likely to stay than others, but they all have that one weakness pulling them back. Read on to find out why your sign stays in toxic relationships.
Filled with integrity, there’s not a lot the fire signs wouldn’t fight for. Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius are ambitious and rise to almost any challenge, so in most cases, they would rather fight than give up. This definitely applies where a relationship is concerned, even if the relationship in question is toxic.
They see lost relationships as wasted time and don’t like to lose anything, let alone the good parts of a relationship, even if it’s toxic in some areas.
They’re much more inclined to stay in a relationship and keep fighting than call it quits, no matter how hard it gets.
Aries is a born fighter. This sign hates giving up more than anything and doesn’t like to be defeated. When it comes to a relationship ending, sometimes the break up is actually a good thing because both people will be better off apart, but this sign finds it hard to see it that way. Instead, she focuses on how she made a promise and if she leaves a relationship, she isn’t following through with that promise. Aries is also one of the most loyal signs in Astrology, so she finds it hard to leave anybody behind, even if they deserve it.
To some degree, we all care what other people think of us. Leo probably cares a lot more than the average person because reputations are so important to her, and sometimes, she’ll do things that aren’t really that good for her if it means keeping up appearances.
Leo has the perfect life to everyone on the outside, so she often feels like she’s under enormous pressure to keep that image going, whatever she has to do to succeed.
Especially if outsiders think that her relationship is amazing, Leo might be reluctant to leave it behind, even when it’s totally toxic.
Break ups are painful, whether they’re necessary or unnecessary. When a relationship is toxic, it’s better to rip off the band-aid and deal with that pain up front, because that way you save yourself a lot of future pain. Sagittarius is wise so she knows this, but she can have a hard time actually following through with it. She can be a bit of a procrastinator at the best of times, and the thought of going through a yucky break up—including the pity texts from her friends, the awkward explanations to her family and the lonely nights lamenting the past—puts her off making the decision she needs to make.
A lot of relationships feature a little healthy rivalry or competition. However, when one person takes it too far, things can get toxic. The fire signs are guilty of sometimes getting too carried away with the whole competitive thing, which they owe to their natural ambition and confidence.
It’s a great thing for their careers, but not for their relationships.
They don’t mean to compete seriously—usually, it starts off as fun. These signs just don’t have a clear vision of when they cross the line and can make their partners uncomfortable by pursuing rivalries with them and never taking things lightly.
Some people are natural people-pleasers. The earth signs—Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn—don’t like conflict and much prefer it when things go well. They hate disappointing people and love to be praised and impressive. They’re natural high-achievers, and other people’s opinions can mean an awful lot to them. For those reasons, they might be inclined to stay in relationships that aren’t good for them because they don’t want to disappoint anybody by leaving. They want to avoid disappointing their partner, but also their partner’s family and friends, as well as theirs. Usually, other people’s happiness means more to them than their own.
Let’s face it: there’s a certain security that comes with being in a relationship—even a toxic one. When you’re in a relationship, you might feel like you don’t have to worry about the future or finding a date for the next event you have.
There’s a certain comfort in not having to put yourself out there to meet someone new, or brave a world that’s built for couples on your own.
Taurus likes to be comfortable, so sometimes she stays in relationships she shouldn’t because it’s the easy thing to do. In the long term, it might cost her a lot, especially if the relationship is toxic. But it’s easy in the short term.
Virgo is the queen of wanting people to approve of her. Though she can seem confident and collected, and she is very intelligent, she often suffers from deep insecurities that leave her feeling like she has to please everyone around her. This is the case with many of her relationships—when she has a long-term partner, she makes it her mission to make them happy and impress them. Obviously being broken up with will probably leave most people feeling disappointed, which is why Virgo is hesitant to make that move. She’s usually more scared of upsetting people than wasting time in the wrong relationship for her.
Anyone who knows Capricorn knows that she’s very good at setting goals and meeting them, no matter how tough they might be to meet. This is a sign who thinks in the long term rather than the short term and does not shy away from commitment.
Capricorn tends to think of things in a very black-and-white way and doesn’t really let her feelings dictate her decisions.
If she feels like she’s in a bad relationship, she could still stay anyways because she knows she’s made a commitment, and she’s the type of person who follows through on her promises and honors her commitments.
The earth signs probably don’t like being called judgmental, but when it comes to relationships, this is often their top mistake. Being over-thinkers and over-analyzers, these signs can also end up becoming judges in relationships, even when nobody asked for their opinion. Though they just want the best for their partners, they can pick on them relentlessly and point out their flaws. They’re very blunt and don’t sugar coat anything, so sensitive people can end up feeling very attacked in relationships with the black-and-white earth signs. These signs aren’t bullies—they’re just big on honesty and self-improvement.
The air signs—Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius—are naturally positive.
They’re glass-half-full kind of people, and even when things look bad, they maintain hope that they’re still going to work out for the best.
This kind of attitude is helpful in many areas of life, but when it comes to toxic relationships, it can mean that the air sign sticks around for much longer than they should. Sometimes there’s just no hope of fixing it, but the air signs are the last ones to see that, and once they do see it, they don’t like to admit it.
Gemini is one of Astrology’s resident optimists, which is normally a good thing. Her positive energy is infectious and she knows how to look for the good in just about anyone. Even when people give her a reason to feel mad or resentful, she tries to focus on the good in them. When she finds herself in a relationship that’s gone bad, a lot of the time Gemini will hold on because the optimist in her believes that things aren’t as bad as they seem. She believes that things will get better if she just sticks it out.
Being afraid of being single is probably one of the top reasons why people stay in relationships that are bad for them. Libra isn’t exactly a needy sign, but she does love to be in a relationship. A lot of the time, she takes her relationship so seriously that she ties a lot of her identity to it, so if she loses it, she feels like she loses a huge chunk of herself.
No wonder it’s especially scary for her to be alone.
That fear of being single is usually what keeps her in a toxic relationship long after she should have called it quits.
A lot of the time Aquarius thinks in a black-and-white way and doesn’t let her emotions cloud her judgment. That said, this is also a natural humanitarian. She can’t help feeling sorry for people, and that is particularly true when she is emotionally involved like she would be in a relationship. Aquarius can end up sticking around in a relationship that’s no longer good for her because she pities her partner and fears that they won’t manage when she’s gone. The thought of sticking around is less painful than the thought of seeing their sad face when she breaks up with them.
The air signs make really great partners, but they can be toxic too. One of the most common ways that the air signs are toxic toward their lovers is by being emotionally unavailable. They do this for many reasons, some of them conscious and some of them subconscious.
A lot of the time, it’s completely innocent and they’re just a little aloof without realizing.
But sometimes they can purposely refrain from getting close to their partner and not reveal any feelings to protect themselves from getting hurt. Especially if their partner craves a deep emotional connection, this can result in quite a toxic relationship.
Denial can play a big part in toxic relationships and is a major reason why a lot of people stay in them when they should just leave. This is especially true of the water signs. Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces can suffer from a little denial when they first realize that their relationship is toxic, or isn’t working out. They might keep putting off thinking about it, hoping the problems fix themselves, or make up excuses for why their partners are acting in certain ways. A lot of the time, these creative signs can see what they want to see.
To many people, Cancer comes across as a strong sign. But the truth is that image is really due to the hard exterior she puts up to protect herself.
In reality, this sign is quite sensitive and fragile and is prone to deal with low self-esteem.
If that’s the case, there’s a good chance that she stays in a toxic relationship because she doesn’t believe she’s worth anything better. She might seriously think that she’s getting what she deserves, or that she would never be able to find someone who made her happier. It takes quite a push for her to see that she’s worth a lot more.
Scorpio is quite analytical and likes to look into things deeply, but believe it or not, she doesn’t always see what she needs to straight away. She might pick up on all the details but the one that matters. In the case of a toxic relationship, there’s a chance that she just doesn’t realize it’s toxic. This could be because she’s carried away by the good parts of the relationship and forgets to pay attention to the toxic parts. It could also be because she’s quite a tough cookie, and thinks that the bad behaviors her partner shows her are just normal because she’s been through them so many times.
Other signs may procrastinate, but Pisces is the biggest procrastinator out there! This sign fully intends to do things, like leaving a toxic relationship, for example, but she doesn’t get around to them. She’s one of those people who says she’ll do it tomorrow and keeps putting it off until you realize that it’s probably never going to get done.
This sign really doesn’t like to be rushed into decisions and likes to explore all of her options until she finally gets the nerve to take action.
This applies to everything in her life, and breaking up is no different.
The water signs themselves can turn a bit toxic when they allow their baggage to burden their partners. This can manifest in many different ways, but one of the most common is bringing fears they’ve learned in past relationships into new ones, and treating their new partners like their exes. So if a water sign has been badly burned in the past, they might expect the same behavior from their new partner, even when that new partner proves that they are different. The water signs are also prone to mood swings and insecurity issues, which can drain their partners sometimes.