Am I attractive? This is the question all women ask themselves time and time again, comparing themselves to magazine models and edited beauty!
I’m a woman and naturally, I can’t say I’m immune to asking myself the same unending question and sometimes I just feel like guys have it so much easier.
There aren’t as many edited supermodel men in high-fashion magazines who are imposing these impossible (completely altered) beauty standards, as if women need an extra reason to feel insecure.
We see all those Victoria’s Secret supermodels strutting their hot, thin bodies on the runway, with their glowing skin and perfect features, thinking this is what we should aspire to be.
But that’s only half the truth. Do you really believe that these women wake up like that? In their perfect, skimpy outfits, with their skin so soft and bodies as fit as ever? Of course they don’t!
What you don’t realize is that they all have their personal trainers, they go on these massive diets and they don’t let themselves indulge nearly as much as ‘normal’ people do.
That is all for show. They need to sell their beauty because it’s their job, so you really shouldn’t base your opinions on yourself looking at models and magazine covers. That’s not real. You are!
Am I attractive? How do you see yourself?
The most important thing here is how YOU see yourself. Stop wondering if others find you attractive and be your own voice of reason.
It’s difficult judging yourself objectively when you’re the one who looks at yourself every single day and being so used to your features, it’s difficult to know anymore how you truly see yourself.
You’re the one who knows about every single zit, even though others probably couldn’t even find it. You’re the one who knows you’re having a bad hair day, even though to an outside onlooker, you look perfectly normal.
Your mood often dictates your feelings about yourself and more often than not, you’re probably way too harsh on yourself. Am I right?
Before you ask yourself, “Am I attractive?’’ think about what it is that you find appealing in others. What the first thing is that you’ll notice on another woman and what you truly find attractive. Just be honest with yourself.
Is physical appearance the only deciding factor here, or is there more to it?
Do you like seeing beautiful, healthy hair, flowing in the wind, looking like it belongs on a Vogue cover and you would just die to have it on your head?
Or do you find the eyes to be the most attractive part of a person? Do you like looking into somebody’s eyes and immediately being so drawn to them, as if their eyes hold the secrets of the universe you’re craving to uncover?
Or is there something more that you just can’t resist? Something that instantly makes you see this person differently, in a more positive light?
Looks aren’t everything. And regardless of what you might think, the thing that you are drawn to in another person is most probably what others notice about you too!
It’s your personality. The way you condone yourself with those you love and with perfect strangers, the way you carry a genuine smile on your face whenever you see someone you care about and the abundance of positive energy you seamlessly spread around you.
It’s the way you’re always ready to help a person, no matter who it is. Your kindness and ability to put yourself second and be of service when you’re needed. It’s your big heart that makes you attractive.
And nobody’s opinion of you matters nearly as much as your own does, remember that.
Now, if you’re on dating apps, chances are you’re probably basing your worth off of some superficial comments from guys behind their screens who probably don’t have anything better to do with their lives.
That’s all cool and s**t but dating apps aren’t a measure of anything, let alone of how attractive you are and here’s why!
Your profile photo cannot capture you in all your essence!
First of all, a photo does not represent who you are or how attractive you are. A photo is literally one pose from a particular angle and there’s nothing more one can see than this one moment in time and you are so much more than that.
A photo does not show what you look like when somebody makes you laugh so hard that you just can’t stop grinning from ear to ear, completely spontaneously and genuinely.
A photo does not show the way your eyes look in all different kinds of lighting. It doesn’t show how magical it is to see you during sunset, as the sun is setting over your face and making your eyes light up in that particular faint light.
Every single person is attracted to something different!
Take yourself for example. Let’s say you’re attracted to guys with dark hair, light eyes, over six feet tall and with a great sense of humor!
They need to be into rock music and not take life too seriously. You also would prefer it if they liked animals, as you’re a huge animal lover and your dog is your world.
And now let’s take your best friend, for example. She is probably attracted to those mysterious types of guys, who are more than they let people see and don’t really look typically handsome but have that certain something that makes them stand out.
They aren’t into the rock scene but are more quiet and reserved and exude this mystical energy that she just finds so damn attractive.
She doesn’t care about looks at all, all she wants is someone with the same quirky outlook on life as hers.
And there you have it. Your choices in men could not possibly be any different and yet, you would both absolutely love to find each guy described above and would have a big dislike for the other one.
Does that mean that one type is less attractive than the other? No! All it means is that you and your bestie have completely different ideas of what an attractive man looks like and neither of you is wrong.
It’s all so objective. And what I’m trying to say is, if you’re not one guy’s cup of tea, that doesn’t mean you won’t be everything and more to the next guy!
Be thankful that tastes in men and women differ from person to person, as that gives you so many more chances with so many different guys. And isn’t that just awesome?
There’s also this thing called chemistry!
The way you see someone in pictures and how they actually are in person are two completely different things.
You can see someone you think is so good-looking and cute and feel like you’d really hit it off with them and then when you meet them in person you realize that they have the personality of a pineapple!
And off they go! That’s what chemistry is for. You keep asking yourself, “Am I attractive?’’ when you should really be asking yourself whether there’s chemistry there or not.
A person can be as gorgeous as it gets on the outside but when their personality is bland and they don’t click with you on any level, what’s the point really?
This is why being attractive is not something you should be putting all your attention on. Your looks aren’t everything. If there’s no mental connection, there’s really nothing there.
Every single person on this planet is attractive to somebody. You may look out the window and see a guy you don’t like one bit but there is probably somebody out there who would find him the cutest!
Do you see yourself as attractive as others do?
There’s always a big gap between how attractive you perceive yourself and how you actually look to others. Oftentimes, we feel like we’re way less good-looking than we actually are.
This is because you scrutinize every single detail about yourself. You see every flaw, every gray hair and every slight imperfection on your face.
You see those stretch marks and cellulite and you most definitely don’t like seeing those love handles.
But others don’t see that the way you do. They see a cute smile and that adorable gap between your teeth. They see your natural face in all of its beauty, not even thinking about that tiny zit you hate so much.
The person who loves you for who you are will love all those flaws that you hate so much and see them as things that make you special.
He won’t care that you have cellulite. He won’t care about that barely-there pimple.
All this person will see is somebody who is perfect in their eyes. An attractive, smart, witty woman, whose laughter is louder than music and who always says it like it is.
And this is precisely why you should stop asking yourself, “Am I attractive?’’and start focusing on finding somebody who will love you exactly the way you are. Flaws and all.