Finding true love is everything but easy, and it is nothing similar to the fairytales. The man of your dreams usually doesn’t magically appear, knocking on your door and giving you everything you didn’t even know you needed.
Instead, you usually have to kiss more than one frog before meeting your Prince Charming, and you have to go through many wrong relationships before finding the right one.
They say you never really forget your first love. Well, I think that the truth is a little bit different–what you never forget is the feeling of innocence and the way you had the ability of giving yourself completely to another human being, without holding any parts back.
Your first relationship is usually the purest. It is a relationship which helps you enter the world of grown ups and the one which helped you become the mature woman you are today.
Even though first loves rarely have happy endings, they sure do teach you a lot. The first heartbreak might be the most painful one, but it is also the most valuable one.
Let’s face it–when we meet someone, what draws us to them are the butterflies and the excitement we feel whenever we are around that person. It is the emotional rollercoaster and the dizziness we feel at the mere mention of that special someone’s name.
That is exactly what this passionate love brings you. It makes you feel like you are on top of the world and as if you can do everything you set your mind to, as long as you have your other half holding your hand.
However, after some time, you learn that your happily ever after is actually built on much more than pure passion. You learn that passion only is not the foundation for a healthy relationship.
You learn that it is way more important to find someone who makes you feel calm and someone whose love feels like home. That true love is much more than just butterflies and that intimacy is much more than just s*x.
Another type of love most of us experience before finding the right one is the comfort zone one. It is the love which usually comes after the passionate one–more of a friendly than of a romantic type of love. It is the love which brings you the tranquility and peace you crave.
Nevertheless, this isn’t the real deal either because you usually stay in this kind of relationship out of habit and sense of duty, even when you outgrow it. It becomes your comfort zone, and you are scared of leaving it even after you realize you want and need something different and more.
Even though you’ve heard about it and tried to do everything in your power to avoid it, you can’t run from having one toxic love in your lifetime, as much as you try to do it. It is the type of love that consumes you completely, and the love you know is wrong for you from the beginning.
However, at the same time, it is also the love which keeps dragging you back to itself the more you try to fight it. When this relationship ends and when you finally liberate yourself from this never-ending cycle of different toxic emotions you happened to mistake for love, you feel broken and drained completely.
Nevertheless, after you recover, you understand that this kind of love had to happen for a bigger reason because if it weren’t for it, you wouldn’t have known many things you now know. You wouldn’t have known what is it that you don’t want from life and most importantly, you wouldn’t be aware of your own worth.
After all these wrong relationships, you finally come to the point where you are convinced you’ve found your perfect match. At last, you find a person who understands you and a relationship which seems perfect.
Nevertheless, this love doesn’t succeed either, but it helps you understand that a forever person is something much more than someone whom you thought was your soulmate at a given moment. Things might fall apart for one reason or another, but the fact is that you always wonder why it didn’t work out between you and this guy.
No, this doesn’t mean that you spend the rest of your life regretting not staying next to him. But the truth is that this man always remains special for you and that you always remember him as the one that got away.