With 2019 around the corner, it’s a great time to start thinking about your goals for the new year. While it’s important to set some time aside to focus on your individual goals, if you’re in a relationship it can also be a great time to touch base with your partner and set some goals for your relationship for the two of you.
“When it comes to relationships, a few goals aren’t a bad thing as long as you keep it simple and make sure it’s something you both agree on,” Susan Trombetti, matchmaker and the owner of Exclusive Matchmaking tells Bustle. Picking low-pressure, easily achievable goals that will help you feel closer is key — rather than setting something unobtainable that’s going to stress you out more.
It can be a great idea to sit down with your partner and look for things that you’d like to do more of in the new year. It can be as simple as spending more time together — more quality time together — or it may be that you have more specific goals in mind. It’s all about whatever is going to make your relationship stronger. So here are some experts’ 2019 goals for couples for inspiration.
Quality time a foundation for relationships. “Whether married or living together make sure you have a special night,” Trombetti says. “Quality time is hard to come by, so this is special and nothing or no one should come before this unless it’s an emergency.” It may be once a week, it may be less — find an amount that works for you and try to stick to it.
If you want to make your time together really count, decide that you’ll spend a certain amount of time without your phones. “These things were meant to make our lives better, but they sometimes seem like the bane of our existence,” Trombetti says. “Remember you are with your significant other, not your smartphone.” Putting them in another room — or even locked away in a drawer — can make a huge difference.
Trying something new is a great way to feel more bonded. “Whatever it is, do something new to keep the relationship fresh and exciting,” Trombetti says. “Make sure it isn’t the same old, same old. You need to keep it fresh.” From a pottery class to traveling to trying to ice skate, try picking something out of your comfort zone, whatever that may be.
Taking some time to create your own traditions can strengthen your relationship for years to come. “You need to have activities, events, milestones that are uniquely the two of yours,” Joshua Klapow, PhD, clinical psychologist and host of The K-urre and Klapow Show, tells Bustle. “Rituals, traditions, actions that you share between only the two of you will strengthen your relationship. A favorite vacation spot, a place in nature that is only yours, or an intimate ritual that you share.” Creating something that’s just yours is really nice feeling and one that can help bond you for the future.
It’s far too easy to get caught up in our own little whirlwinds and forget how lucky we are, so try taking some time to thank your partner more. “This keeps you from taking them for granted and showing how much you appreciate that little thing your partner does,” Trombetti says. “If you have been together a year or 20 years, still thank them for that movie or dinner.” And maybe, just for being them.
When setting 2019 relationship goals, you don’t need to think of anything too difficult or complicated. Pick a few things that will maximize the quality of time that you spend together — and help you remember how lucky you are.