Growing up as an INTP female, I always felt a little bit like a freak. I never seemed to fit in with the other girls quite right.
In my adult years, I can’t say much has changed.
In many ways, I met the INTP stereotypes to a T. Logic guides most of my decisions. I’ve been called “critical” more times than I can count. Video games and virtual worlds are much more comfortable to me than actual real world. And I have long been shot with the phrase “not meeting my potential in school.”
Being a female INTP, I make up just 2% of the population. In the past, I really did try my best fit in, but over time I’ve learn to say “fuck it, this is me.”
Like I said in a lot of ways, I meet the INTP stereotypes. Consequently, I often contradict the stereotypes for “most” females. This leaves me in many situations where men question if I am being “authentic.” Once on a Tinder date, I had brought up that I spend a good amount of time playing my PS4. After we got back to his place, he handed me his Xbox controller and told me “prove my self-proclaimed gaming skill.” A completely different console. To say the least, I never went out with him again. Yes, I enjoy videos games. No, I do not just say that to appeal to men. No, I am not going to prove myself to anyone.
As an INTP, explaining my feels to others has not always been my forte. They say communication is key to relationships and it is probably what I struggle with the most. When I am feeling emotions in a relationship, I typically keep them to myself and hope that through my actions the other person simply “figures it out.” Many times, however, I’ve found myself in situations where me and the other person are on completely different pages.
INTPs rarely live their lives in an overly structured or organized manner. I’m often absentminded to a total mess even if I am living in it. For my entire life, there always seems to be a large pile of clothes, shoes and anything else in my bedroom floor. Mundane tasks such as cleaning and organizing just feel impossible to me. While living in my college dorm, I lost my hairdryer for a solid week and accused numerous dorm mates of taking it. Only later did I discover that it was under my massive pile junk in my bed. I literally was sleeping on top of it for a week. Have I mentioned I hate cleaning?
The expectations of self-care for females is ridiculously unfair in my opinion, that being said, I struggle to keep up. Washing my every day or even every other day just feels like far too much effort. Dry shampoo is a lifesaver. Putting on makeup every day for my office job is draining. Finding different outfit combinations seems like a waste of energy; sometimes I truly miss school uniforms.
Making conversation around the office or at social events is something that I’ve never quite fully understood. I’m terrible at small talk. I can’t see the point nor think of questions. The best approach I’ve learned is to copy the conversation starters I’ve heard from other. “Nice shoes, where did you get them?” is one of my main go to phrases. While it might seem like it, no I am not a robot.