People all have a basic understanding of what being treated well in a relationship means. Sure, they might be influenced by TV shows and romantic comedies when it seems like real love means red roses and being flown to a restaurant in Paris via private jet.
But while people don’t mind watching that stuff, they can definitely differentiate between what’s realistic to expect and what’s not… even if, sure, flowers can be nice to receive sometimes.
Ladies would generally agree that if a guy is nice to them, respects them and the people that they love, and makes them feel awesome about themselves, then he’s someone that they should keep around. And they can also agree that once their best friends start noticing if a guy is treating them the opposite of that, they want to hear what their girls have to say.
But what if the boyfriend seems to be awesome… but is actually exhibiting a ton of behavior that is anything but? A girl in love might think that his behavior is normal, but in reality, she should be considering whether the relationship is on its way out.
Read on to find out about 25 seemingly normal things he does that his girlfriend really shouldn’t ignore.
We know that we shouldn’t be texting our friends on a date, so why would we accept this kind of behavior from someone that we’re seriously dating?
And yet sometimes we do accept this behavior because it honestly seems pretty normal.
If every time we see our boyfriend, he’s texting his friends, this is something that we want to talk to him about. It’s rude and it shows that he’s not focusing his attention on us which is the whole point of being in a relationship (or at least it should be).
Sure, we can absolutely see our friends on a Friday night or make a last-minute plan to go out for dinner with our coworkers if we’re in a relationship. That being said, we always consider our boyfriend’s schedule when we’re making plans in advance. We don’t want to leave him sitting home by himself on a Saturday night so we can go out with our friends because we wouldn’t want him to do the same to us. Being part of a couple means seeing each other a lot, right?
If our boyfriend makes plans without checking in with us first, we might think nothing of this. After all, it seems normal. But it could show that he doesn’t consider us to be a crucial part of his life.
The amount of alone time needed in a relationship is always different. There are no hard and fast rules about dating (or anything about adult life, really… which can suck sometimes) but we tend to think that a couple should enjoy spending time together. As in a lot of time together.
When our boyfriend tells us that he needs a lot of alone time, we could chalk it up to his personality.
We could say that this is how he’s always behaved and this is the way that he acts in relationships. But we need to be with someone who wants to hang out with us as often as we want to be with them.
Does it seem normal when our boyfriend tells the waiter or waitress what he wants to eat before we get the chance? Sure. It definitely does. Lots of people do this… right?
It’s not the best way to behave, though, because it’s simply not the most polite thing to do. If a man is acting like a gentleman (and that’s what we want in a BF), then he should ask us what we want before he orders. It’s just the right thing to do, and we deserve this.
It’s polite for someone to ask if we’re done eating or if we want to order something else when we’re at a bar or restaurant. This definitely goes for a friend or relative, not just someone who we’re dating.
It’s especially crucial for our boyfriend to ask us this question, though.
If he doesn’t and he always just gets the check when he’s ready to go, it proves that he’s thinking about himself only and that he’s not spending enough time thinking about us.
It’s cool to go on vacation with our friends, but it would make sense that once we’re in a serious relationship, we want to take trips and travel with our wonderful partner. If that’s not happening, it’s definitely a cause for concern.
Dating a guy who would rather go on vacay with his buddies than us seems to suggest that he’s not cut out for this whole commitment thing. He might not be ready to grow up and he might not be the partner that we need.
We get it, sometimes we just have to let out some steam and talk about how stressed out we are or say that something is bothering us.
When our boyfriend is always talking about work, though, and always complaining about work, it’s a different story.
This isn’t fair to us because, sure, we work too, but we want to have fun and talk about other topics. He’s trying to unload his stress on us but that’s not how a relationship works. We can help him and talk to him, sure, but we have to feel like we can have non-work related conversations and just generally enjoy the time that we spend together.Featured Today
We shouldn’t ignore our BF if he’s always working, even when we’re on a date. It counts even if we’re sitting on the couch or having dinner at home, so we can notice this kind of behavior even if we’re not on a fancy date night out.
Taking work calls or answering emails in front of our partner is totally okay, as long as it happens only sometimes. But when we feel like our boyfriend cares more about his job than us, that can be a problem.
We all talk about other people, even if we say that we hate gossip or that we’re trying to talk about other subjects. It can be inevitable.
It’s not that great, though, when we realize that our boyfriend only ever talks about other people.
This could show us that he’s more of a negative thinker and person than we originally thought, and we might not be quite as into that as the other qualities that he has. We might not necessarily want to stop dating him because of this but it’s something to think about.
Does our boyfriend ever complain when we tell him that we’ve made plans to see our friends? Sure, this could seem like no big deal. It could even seem sweet because it seems like he wants to be with us. But this isn’t the best behavior (it could show a side of him that we really don’t like or trust), and it’s healthy to see friends.
We should encourage each other to see friends and be social. It’s good to do things without the other person sometimes.
It’s tempting to think that a guy who is off in his own world is still an awesome boyfriend. We’re all super busy (and we all talk about how super busy we are) and we have a lot to think about all of the time.
We could say that he’s stressed out or thinking about work so we understand why he seems off in his own world a lot of the time that we’re hanging out.
And yet, this isn’t the best thing to notice about our boyfriend. If he always seems preoccupied, it could be that he’s thinking that the relationship isn’t working out or he’s dealing with something else. It’s not something that we should ignore.
If our boyfriend checks our phone to see who messaged us, we could think that this is normal behavior. After all, our phone is lying there on the couch or the coffee table, isn’t it? It makes sense that he would want to look at it.
Except… it’s not really cool that he does this. He wouldn’t want us to check his phone, so he shouldn’t be doing this. Checking someone’s cell phone proves that they don’t trust the person that they’re dating, plain and simple, and this is something that we want to ask him about for sure.
Sometimes we hear people say that it’s tough to keep the romance going in a long-term relationship. Do we really agree with that? Probably not.
People who do agree with that might not necessarily want to be in a serious relationship.
Yes, it takes some work, but it’s awesome to care about someone so much and have them care about you.
When our boyfriend acts like things have gotten stale, he’s also acting like this is just the way that things go in relationships. But this isn’t really how someone should feel. Does he want to stay with us? It’s something that we have to talk to him about.
We should definitely never ignore someone who complains about our family. He might say that we do so he can, too, but that’s not really how it works.
It’s uncool to complain about someone else’s relatives because it just seems disrespectful. It would make us wonder how he really feels about our parents, siblings, and anyone else that he has met and spent time with. Would he want us to say negative things about his own mom, dad, or sister? Exactly.
If our boyfriend has said that things between us have gotten stale, then chances are, he’s also stopped putting the effort into the relationship.
It’s easy to ignore this because we could say, “Well, we’ve been together for two years. It can’t always be like it was in the beginning.”
It can, though, or at least it should be close to it… as long as both partners put in the effort, that is. We need a boyfriend who cares about date nights and just generally working on the relationship.
It’s tough to hear our boyfriend say things about our friends that we would classify as mean. We wish that he would adore our friends as much as we do and think super positively about them. While of course, we can’t dictate how he feels about something or someone, we can insist that he’s nice to our friends and is also nice when he talks about them.
We should never ignore a guy who insults the people who are nearest and dearest to us. This could be a different side of him that we just don’t like.
It’s definitely true that in every relationship, the couple will lean toward one of their families and see them more regularly. Maybe it’s because they feel more supported by those relatives or it’s simply a matter of geography and they live closer to them so it’s easier to see each other more often.
At the same time, though, each partner has to make the effort to see each other’s families.
It’s simply not fair if our boyfriend only wants to spend time with his family and never wants to go visit ours. It also makes us wonder whether he wants to be part of our family, which is something that we need to know now.
We’ve all experienced it: we’re dating someone who seems super invested and even preoccupied with another friend’s relationship. He talks about them super regularly and seems to always want to hear our opinion.
This is strange because, first of all, we shouldn’t be comparing relationships, and second of all, this could mean that he’s unhappy. Maybe he’s talking about their relationship to see if we have the same problems or he wants to start a conversation about it. Either way, we can’t ignore it.
Our relationships should be considered modern and that definitely means that we should share the laundry and other household duties with our partner.
When that’s not happening, we shouldn’t ignore it.
We should think carefully about why our boyfriend seems to think that we’re just going to do all of this stuff and he won’t have to do anything at all.
Maybe he assumes that he shouldn’t have to help out around our apartment, but that’s not fair, is it? This is for sure another example of behavior that we shouldn’t ignore.
We always hear that being late is a bad behavior to exhibit because it doesn’t show the other person that we care about them or value them. We can totally see that… except when it comes to our love lives (it’s funny how that happens…).
It’s not only frustrating if our boyfriend is often late but it’s also not something that we should ignore. It might seem normal because, sure, we’re all late sometimes, but it shouldn’t be one of his habits.
Not everyone is great at cooking. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.
But it’s not cool if our boyfriend always wants us to cook for him since that’s unfair and kind of mean… and it’s not fair if he always wants to order take-out, either.
That habit can get super expensive, plus there’s the fact that we’re trying to be healthy and that means cooking at home. Maybe this one thing isn’t enough for us to assume that the relationship won’t work out, but things do add up, and it could make us think.
On the one hand, we get why our boyfriend wouldn’t want us to work a lot. It means that we can’t spend more time together, right? And doesn’t he want to see us all the time? It’s sweet, really, that he feels this way… except that it’s not. Because it’s not fair if he gets upset with us when we have to work a lot.
Instead, he should support the fact that we love our job so much and that we work hard. Our work ethic should be interesting and attractive to him.
Isn’t it normal when a guy pokes fun at people who are married? Every guy does this, so should we get upset when our boyfriend says something about a husband and wife on TV or in a movie, or his pal who has gotten hitched?
Sure, guys do say these types of things, and yet it’s not something that we can ignore.
If we want to get married, this could be telling us our boyfriend feels about walking down the aisle, and our hopes could get totally dashed.
No matter how far into the relationship we are, whether we just said that we’re boyfriend and girlfriend or it’s been two years, it’s strange when our boyfriend says something negative about commitment.
It’s easy (and even tempting) to see this as normal. It’s not, though. It’s telling us that he’s not comfortable with commitment and that even if he claims that he’s happy with us now, that could change very soon. This is definitely something else that we shouldn’t ignore.
Something else that we shouldn’t ignore is if our boyfriend cancels plans last minute. Sure, this happens from time to time. If it’s a once a year thing, then we absolutely can’t end the relationship over it.
If it happens regularly though, it’s not a behavior that we can ignore.
It shows us that we’re not that special to him and that he values other things and people over us. Even if he swears that’s not the case, we might not be so confident about the relationship when this keeps happening. Along with the other things on this list, it’s a sign that there could be trouble in the relationship, and we have to take a look at it.