Not all relationships were built to last. Sometimes, two people can love each other and have a lot of history with each other, but it’s just not enough. A lot of factors go into creating a successful relationship that carries on through the years, and if we’re missing one or two of them, it can sometimes make everything else come undone. It’s a painful fact of life: we may have to give up on the people we care about. We may have to give up on someone we imagined a future with. It’s hard to go through with, but when it’s the best decision for our wellbeing, we will end up better off.
Knowing when to give up and when to keep fighting for someone might be the most difficult part. As long as we get that right, we can trust in whatever follows. So how do we know when to give up on the person we once loved, or still love, and when we should try a little harder? There might not be a clear-cut guidebook, but there are several signs we can pay attention to.
As we said, a good partner will accept you for who you are. That’s what makes them right for you. You shouldn’t have to become a different person just to gain their acceptance. Sometimes, you end up turning into someone else, not because he’s pressuring you, but because he naturally brings out the worst in you. It could come down to bad chemistry. And it’s probably not a good idea to stick it out with someone who has such a bad influence on you, whether they realize it or not.
Relationships are great, but they don’t have to be the one thing that fulfills you in life (contrary to popular belief!). If being with somebody is holding you back from any part of your life, you have to think about what your priorities are, and what the best thing is for you overall. Usually, it’s time to let go if a relationship demands so much of your attention that it’s jeopardizing your career, your friends, your family or even your health.
Holding onto a relationship that’s slipping away is hard work. Sometimes it’s worth it, but other times, you’re putting yourself through all that pain for no reason. When you are so in love with someone that you can’t imagine living your life without them, it might be worth fighting harder. But it’s a sign that you should give up on the struggle if you can picture a happy future for yourself that doesn’t include him. In that case, the love just isn’t that strong.
It’s basically never a positive sign when a guy keeps you hidden from the people in his life. We’re not saying he has to parade you to his family and friends the first week you start dating, but the relationship should get to a point where you start to become part of each other’s lives. Naturally, that involves being introduced to family and friends. It’s up to you how long you’re willing to let this go, since some people take a longer time to be ready than others.
Ultimately, a relationship should feel right in your gut. You’d be surprised how much insight your intuition can give, and how easy it is to stray down the wrong path when you ignore the feelings your body is trying to give you. If you have to convince yourself he’s right for you because your gut is constantly telling you that he’s not, the chances are he’s really not. Don’t be afraid to listen to your inner-voice and judge for yourself when it’s time to give up the fighting.
Romantic affection is part of all healthy romantic relationships. There are times when things aren’t as hot, and you can’t expect to stay in the honeymoon stage forever, so don’t worry if you go through a few rough periods. But in general, there should still be an underlying attraction there. It’s a sign that the relationship has turned into a friendship, or the relationship you’re trying to build won’t ever happen, if there’s no attraction and no hint of physical affection.
All relationships have issues to work through. There will be times when things are great and easy, and then there will be times when it’s a challenge to stick together. But whatever happens, you should always be moving forward and growing. It’s not a good sign when you repeat the same problems over and over again, until you feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle.When that’s the case, there’s a chance that there’s no breaking out of it, and it’s time to give up.
In the beginning, one person in the relationship might clearly be the pursuer, while the other person is happy being chased. But once things settle down, the relationship has to be pushed forward by both people, not just one. If you notice that it’s always you calling or texting first, it’s always you wanting to catch up with the other person, and it’s always you making the compromises to be there for your partner, it could be that your partner doesn’t value having you around.
Often, a relationship can start out positively and still come crashing down in the end. You’ll know that it might not be working out if the only happiness you share together is in the past. A classic sign of this is having nothing to talk about but memories. If the only time you smile together is when you’re reliving the early days of your relationship, it might be a sign that you should stop trying to force something that’s no longer there.
There’s a difference between sacrifice and compromise. All relationships will require some form of compromise, and compromise should be a two-way street that benefits both people in the long run. Sacrifice, on the other hand, involves giving up something that means a lot to you for the sake of someone else. Every now and then, you might have to make a small sacrifice or two. But there’s no point in holding onto a relationship that requires you to constantly give up good things in your life.
It’s going to be a long, hard life if you’re with someone who forces you to be different from who you really are. No matter how much you love someone and how many perks come with being with them, it’s not worth it if they won’t accept you for who you are. Pretending to be someone else, hiding things about yourself and feeling ashamed about who you are will make you miserable in the long run, and nobody deserves to live like that.
It’s not a good idea to spend your life waiting for someone to change. We believe in second chances, and we believe that people are capable of growing and learning from their mistakes. But there will come a point where you’ve been waiting for too long, you’ve given too many chances, and it’s too obvious that change is never going to happen. If you’re still thinking in the hypothetical, as in “we’ll be happy when/if he stops doing this”, you should think about moving on now.
Two people in love should support each other when they need it, no questions asked. Somebody who refuses to have your back in times of need probably isn’t worth your time and effort. It’s okay if this is a one-time thing or an issue that’s been addressed, but if you’re trying to make it work with someone who persistently refuses to give you support when you need it, you might be wasting your time. Instead, you deserve someone who’ll be there for you.
It’s been said before: if there isn’t trust in a relationship, there’s not much point in having anything else. You might not trust your partner to not eat the cookies you leave on the counter, and that’s fine. But when you can’t trust him to keep your secrets, follow through on his promises, be there when you need it and stay faithful to you, you’re stuck in a toxic environment. Without trust, there isn’t much hope of a promising future.
Some relationships are successful because two people keep fighting through the challenges, and are persistent and ruthless in making it work. It’s one thing to fight different battles all the time, but when you’re fighting the same battle over and over, it could be time to accept that you’re never going to reach a point of happiness. When there’s an issue that you just can’t put to rest, it could be a sign from the universe that it’s just not meant to be.
This seems obvious, but a lot of people don’t recognize it in their own relationships. When one of you stops caring, there’s no point to any of it. It’s tempting to hold onto a relationship because you’ve been together for so long, you planned a future together, everybody expects you to stay together or you’re scared of being alone. But if you couldn’t care less about your partner, it’s a waste of your time and of his time to stay in the relationship.
It’s true that opposites do sometimes attract, and two people’s differences can actually bring them together and complete the missing spaces in each other. That said, there are some things you should have in common with your partner, and if there’s absolutely no common ground, the relationship might be worth rethinking. Many experts believe that morals, values and core beliefs are things that you should agree on. It’s important to have physical affection, but you should also be best friends who genuinely get along outside the bedroom.
We all have needs. It might not be your partner’s job to cater to each and every desire you have, but generally speaking, people enter relationships in the first place to be with someone who fulfills certain things for them. So it could be time to give up on trying to make it work if you feel unsatisfied and none of your needs are being met whatsoever. That includes physical needs and emotional needs, as well as other things you might expect from your partner.
This should go without saying. Every relationship is different, so we can’t speak for those in open relationships and similar arrangements. But often, falling in love with someone else is a very clear sign to end things with anybody you might be already involved with. Though that break up might be painful, being honest rather than playing two people will allow you to keep your integrity. And they say that if you fall in love with a second person, you weren’t really in love with the first.
A successful relationship is based on many things, and one of them is respect. Respecting someone means caring about their feelings and desires, acknowledging their rights and deeply admiring them. Before commitment, affection, love and trust even come into the picture, two people have to at least respect each other if it’s going to work. Once the respect is gone, you might as well dust your hands of the whole relationship. Nobody deserves to be constantly disrespected by their partner.
You won’t find a healthy relationship that doesn’t experience any fighting at all, because arguments are a sign that both people care enough to speak up. At the same time, though, you don’t want a relationship that resembles a war zone. When the relationship gets to a stage where it’s brimming with conflict and resentment, it’s not good for anybody involved. If that’s the case, it might be time to seriously consider whether it’s worth holding on and still fighting.
Every relationship may be different, but two people should always be on the same page. Whether you’re exclusive, just casually dating, seeing other people or thinking about marriage, the key is that you’re in agreeance about where you’re at. If you’re not on the same page and you don’t want the same things, it’s time to talk about it. And if you can’t agree on what you are and where you’re going, it could be time to let it go.
It might not be easy to fit a romantic partner into your life, but it shouldn’t be an exhausting struggle. Sometimes, all the love and good intentions are there, but the logistics are off. It might be that you live in separate countries, or you come from two different cultures that are in complete conflict with one another, or your work schedules are impossible to coordinate. Some people can still make it work in those cases, but others can’t. That’s a call you’ll have to make as a couple.
You should never be with someone just because you’re afraid of being alone. When that happens, it’s very easy to settle for things that you don’t deserve, like someone treating you badly. What’s more, if you’re with the wrong person, you’re not making yourself available for the right person that could be out there right now, looking for you. So it might be time to cut ties if you know that the only thing keeping you together is a fear of being alone.
A relationship should enhance your life, not make it worse. Many people feel like they need to have a partner to complete their lives, but there’s no point in holding onto a relationship that isn’t making you happy. Happiness should be your goal, not ticking off things from a list. So if you’re with someone who makes you more unhappy than happy, and causes you pain more often than they cause you bliss, it could be time to part ways.