Every relationship is different. It doesn’t matter how many guys you date because every single one of them interacts with you in a unique way. Even if you’re on a different level with every romantic interest who comes your way, there are still a few habits most women hold onto. There’s a certain point most of us are willing to go when we’re still in the early stages of a relationship but once we hit that point, we stop dead in our tracks. It’s important to recognize that if a relationship is going really well, it’s okay to let your guard down – at least a little bit – to fully engage with your partner.
When you’re in a real relationship that involves mutual love and the hope of a possible forever, there are some things you’re going to need to stop doing. As with most relationships, not everyone is comfortable moving at the same pace, but if you want your relationship to succeed then you’d better at least consider making a few changes. Think about it: You’ve been doing things at a certain pace with every relationship and every relationship eventually came to an end. If you want to weed out the kind of guy who can’t handle you, then stop doing these things by the third month of your relationship:
Giving mixed signals is by far one of the worst things you can do in any relationship, but if it’s your weakness we won’t judge. The thing is, when you’re pretending to care too much about things, your partner will (justly) assume there are certain limits with you and they’ll want to ensure they fit in your comfort zone. Here’s the problem: If you’re acting like you really care about one of his favorite shows when you’re really bored to tears by it, he’s going to encourage you to watch with him and it will ultimately build your unhappiness to the point of eruption and now the relationship is over because you couldn’t be honest with him – or yourself.
By the third month of a relationship, you should have a pretty good idea about the romantic dynamic. Either you want to stay in the relationship or you don’t. Enough time has passed for you to understand what you want and evaluate whether your partner is able to meet your expectations. It’s easy to jump into a relationship and easy to stick around in one that isn’t exactly the greatest, but what really matters (and is among the hardest things to do) is deciding whether the relationship you’re in is a good one or a bad one. By the third month, you owe it to your partner and to yourself to decide whether things will work out or if it’s time to part ways.
Makeup is a hot button topic for millions of women. On one hand, we’re faced with people claiming makeup is only worn to help a girl seduce a man under false pretenses, while on the other hand, we’re just wanting to have a little fun with our look or want to look nice because it helps us feel great. Regardless, once you hit the three-month mark in your romance, it’s time to give your partner a chance to see what you look like beneath the concealer, lipstick and fake lashes. Who are you and how does he feel about it? These are pretty important questions to ask at this point.
Everyone tries to put their best foot forward at the beginning of romantic relationships. They want to reel the other person in before their true selves can be revealed – but by the ninety-day mark, the amount of effort you put into things shouldn’t be set to “maximum.” It’s okay to relax at this stage and just be yourself. Of course, you’re expected to put some effort into maintaining things, but there’s no need to go above and beyond. Do what feels comfortable and don’t worry about your partner not liking it. At this point, there’s no reason you can’t just go with the flow of things to find out where things go.
You’re a girlfriend, not a mom. If your partner does things you find unacceptable, think about whether you want to continue the relationship and if you do you’ve got to learn to deal with how they live their life. If your partner does little things to upset you, like waste an entire paycheck on partying, it’s okay to ask if that’s something they’ll continue to do or if it was a one-time thing. Similarly, it’s okay to inquire about their private life after the third month of dating because at this stage, it’s expected for you both to have opened up at least this far. If either of you haven’t, then it might not be the perfect relationship you’ve been hoping for.
By the third month, you should be comfortable enough in the relationship to blow your nose in front of your partner. Better yet, you should be comfortable enough to let loose a little “left cheek sneak” if you catch our drift. The human body releases gasses as a normal function to relieve pressure, among other things. While you may still try to stand near an open doorway or even just across the room to avoid spreading your stench, your partner should be comfortable with you doing what you need to without making it an embarrassing situation. Remember it’s important that you’re just as accepting of your partner’s bodily functions as well.
When you’re first getting to know someone, it makes sense that your thoughts are completely full of them. It’s weird how infatuated we can become with a new person but what’s even weirder is when we don’t back off after a certain amount of time has passed. After the first few months, it’s time to remember your friends, your family, and your responsibilities. During the first few months it’s a little too easy to forget everything else that matters in our lives, so remember to properly balance the time and effort you put into your relationship with the time and effort you put into literally everything else.
First and foremost, remember it’s okay to be interested in weird stuff. So you really love sci-fi movies with crazy aliens and you’re so into it that you’ve even got costumes. While this isn’t the most popular, it’s certainly not that strange, so don’t be afraid to be honest! You love your show and you love dressing up for events! Maybe your partner can get into it too, or maybe they already are! There’s really only one way to find out – and that’s to be open and honest about who you are and what you like. If your partner can’t handle your interests, then they’re not worth being with.
There’s something special about getting all dressed up to go out. Fancy clothing and fine dining are one of the most romantic things you can do simply because it’s an event to get all dolled up for. While it’s really fun and special, it isn’t something you can do all the time. As crazy as it may sound, you can enjoy a great date without champagne, a little black dress or tons of money. By your third month of dating, you should be just as happy sitting around in sweatpants watching a movie with popcorn as you would be at a nicer location. A date isn’t about where you are or what you’re doing, it’s about who you’re with.
There’s a ton of pressure for both men and women to look good. This pressure is often accented by the dreaded question at every restaurant you go to on a date – “Would you like to see the dessert menu?”
While most people are legitimately too full to even consider dessert, some of us eat less food specifically because we want that sugary treat to top off the meal! Unfortunately, some people have the completely wrong idea about desserts and how ordering one can make them appear. Do you want your new partner to know you’re a sugarholic? You know what? By the third month, your date should be prepared to order dessert with you!
At the start of a relationship, sometimes women go out of their way to be overly polite and allow their partner to make all the decisions. If a woman’s partner wants cheeseburgers instead of burritos for lunch, she might pretend that’s fine, even though deep down she’s craving some carne asada goodness. By the third month, a woman should have set aside this behavior because:
1. Her opinions and wants are just as important as his and
2. There’s absolutely no reason to pretend to be fine with everything just to make him happy.
A relationship is about both people being happy, so cut the fake “Oh, I don’t care, whatever you want, sweetie” and be more assertive!
If you’ve been with your partner for three months already, you’ve got an idea of whether they’ll be part of your life or if you’d rather end things. By this point, it’s a good idea to introduce them to your family. Not only will mom and dad feel a little better after having met your potential forever partner, but they might actually have some surprising insights you haven’t seen through your rose-colored lenses. As hard as it is to admit, our parents are a lot older than us, meaning they’ve seen a lot more as well. Introduce your partner just to see if they can pass that initial test of impressing the parents.
You met someone great and you’ve been on a few dates, but because you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you recognize the need to hold back – at least a little – during dates. You don’t just meet someone and immediately jump to holding hands and ending the night with a kiss, right? So at what point can you casually reach for their hand or expect a nice big smooch after a great date? Well, that’s where the third month comes in! You’ve had a chance to get to know your partner and things are starting to look a little more serious than a casual fling, so don’t be afraid to show a little PDA.
This is actually some pretty sage advise at any point in a relationship. Women, we’ve all been fighting for equality for years, so don’t be afraid to offer to pick up the tab. At the very least, be prepared to cover your part of the bill. This will impress your date and also ease some of the pressure as well. If he’s working hard to take you out for your birthday, it’s cool to accept, but if he’s paying for every single outing, guaranteed you’re going to feel a little spoiled and so will he. Give back a little and offer to pay sometimes.
Your partner isn’t going to understand why you’re so quiet during dates but really talkative over the phone or in messages unless you admit you’ve got social anxiety which is compounded by the fact that you’re head-over-heels for them. That’s just one example, of course, but wherever your insecurities lie, it’s important to let your partner know by the third month so they understand how to interact with you on a level you can be comfortable with. If you’re not comfy with your partner by the third month of dating, odds are your partner isn’t going to stick around much longer due to the misunderstanding that you’re just not meshing well. Be upfront and talk it out.
At the beginning of a relationship, it makes sense to come up with excuses for bad behavior – especially in front of friends and family. You want people to believe your relationship is great and the partner you chose is perfect. In fact, you want to believe your relationship is great and your partner is perfect. The sad truth is no relationship or partner is flawless. If you’re three months into your romantic relationship and you’re still trying to make excuses for his habits, it’s time to call it quits. Be honest with yourself and acknowledge that this isn’t going to pan out in the long run.
While you shouldn’t look to change who your partner is entirely, by the third month, it’s okay to drop a few hints that you think it’s not cool to stiff your waiter or take up more than one parking spot. These are small things that your partner may be willing to change once they understand they’re kind of being inconsiderate. If you want your partner to do something bigger, like switch religions or change several aspects of their personality, that’s an entirely different animal – one you shouldn’t even bother messing with. Either your partner will be willing to make slight changes or you’ll both be better off apart.
When you first started dating, you made sure your makeup was perfect, your outfit was cute but not too over-the-top and every hair was in place. By the third month, you can absolutely continue getting dressed up, but by now there is absolutely no pressure to do so. In fact, some guys prefer it when their girls start to show up to dates in more relaxed clothing or a little less makeup. It’s a sign that says, “I’m comfortable when I’m around you” and they often react well to it. Don’t worry about looking your best because he’s more interested in spending time with you than he is checking out your outfit.
Friends are always gonna give it to you straight – so don’t stop asking them how they feel about your relationship! If your romantic relationships are going to work, your friendships need to be compatible as well or you’ll be left in the precarious position of having to choose the potential love of your life or your squad, who have had your back for years. No one wants to face that challenge, so do yourself a favor and keep one ear open to what your friends have to say – especially since it’s so easy to change who you are when you start hanging around someone new.
By the three month mark, those rose-colored lenses should have paled and your mind is clear enough to see the other person for who they really are. If there were any little red flags you noticed but immediately glossed over, now is the time to consider them. What did your partner do (or not do) and why did it give you pause? Considering these things and giving them an honest look – utilizing your deductive reasoning and critical thinking skills – will help you decide whether the relationship is something you really want to pursue or if it’s not worth your time. Be honest with yourself and see what happens.