If you haven’t defined the relationship with someone, you don’t really know if they’re interested in having a serious relationship with you or not — well, not 100%. That’s where checking out their behavior, such as when it comes to their texting habits, comes in handy and is important so you don’t waste your time.
There’s no doubt that a guy who wants to be exclusive with you will send you different texts when compared to a guy who’s not looking for anything serious. For example, a guy who’s making an effort to be with you won’t reserve his texts for the early hours of the morning when he can’t sleep and he’s bored – and selfish enough to expect you to chat to him when you’re getting your beauty sleep! Instead, he’ll make sure to chat to you when you’re not getting ready for bed so that you can have a meaningful conversation. See the difference?
To help you find out if the guy you’re chatting to is just looking for a fling or friendship, take a look at his texting habits. Here are 20 red-flag texts that show he’s choosing casual dating over commitment.
Anyone who’s ever had to deal with a guy sending her one-word messages like “k” or “cool” knows how frustrating it can be. Sure, anyone can do that from time to time if they’re busy, but if the guy’s always sending one-word replies to your messages, it usually points to him not being interested. A guy who likes you will want to engage with you and have an actual conversation, not just send you letters of the alphabet. Besides, he can’t be that busy to resort to such lazy texting!
Another irritating texting habit of a guy who wants to be casual instead of committed is when he can’t be serious for a second. He might, for instance, send you funny GIFs or memes instead of talking about important topics. Is he always such a clown?
Although at first being around a fun-loving guy can be interesting and enjoyable, after a while, the jokes become stale.
A guy who never talks about deep issues is clearly not serious about you or investing in your relationship emotionally.
It’s not just what a guy texts, but how often he texts. While there’s no hard and fast rule when it comes to how much texting is enough, it’s a red flag if he always leaves the texting up to you. This causes you to have to make more of an effort, which isn’t fair. Love Panky points out that when a guy replies to your messages but never initiates contact, there are many reasons for it, such as that he’s not interested in you or that he wants to keep things on a casual basis because it works for him. Yup, he can conveniently do less and just go with the flow. Not exactly what someone will do when he wants to be your boyfriend.
Being interested in someone means that you want to learn as much about them as you can. That’s why you ask the guy questions, with some being deep and meaningful. But he replies by changing the subject. What’s up with that? It’s like he’s got police tape around his thoughts and feelings to keep you out of them.
If he were interested, he’d want to share himself with you and try to learn more about you.
If he doesn’t do those things, it’s clear that he’s happy with nothing more than a superficial connection.
You ask him how his workday went and he tells you that you look beautiful in your WhatsApp profile picture. You talk to him about your dreams, and he says his dream is to kiss you.
There comes a point where too much flirting can become annoying instead of flattering, especially when you’re trying to have a conversation.
Geez! Although you might think a guy who isn’t interested in you wouldn’t waste his time flirting so much, going overboard with the flirts can mean that he’s just looking for a casual relationship or fling, instead of something real that’s filled with an emotional and mental connection.
He’s in the habit of texting you in the early hours, such as before bedtime or when he’s partying with his friends. At first, this seemed romantic because it meant that he was thinking of you. But if he only ever texts you late at night, it’s a red flag.
It’s like he’s keeping your communication secret, saving it for the darkness when he’s got nothing else going on. If he can’t text you during the light of day, just what is he hiding?
It’s like he’s preventing you from gaining access to the rest of his life, which isn’t a sign of someone who wants a real relationship.
You text him and then he doesn’t reply. Hours pass, and then days. Where the heck is he? A guy who leaves you hanging so much isn’t interested in you. It’s hard to deal with this rejection, but the sooner the better so you don’t waste more time on him. What makes it more difficult is if he was showing real signs of interest in you before he went AWOL, but guys who want casual dating instead of something serious tend to do this so that they always have a way back into your good books when they need someone in their life. Don’t fall into the trap!
What’s worse than a guy who disappears for days or weeks without replying to your texts? A guy who rocks up out of the blue to ask you on a date. What? While you might think he just doesn’t like texting but he must really like you to want to take you on a date, guess again. The mixed messages he’s giving you are red flags. As pointed out by Thought Catalog,
“When a guy likes you, he’ll bring his A-game. Men are competitive by nature.
No guy is going to let a girl he likes get snatched up by some other dude.”
You’re chatting to a guy when he sends you a picture of himself. In it, he’s at the gym or shirtless, and it just feels weird that he’d send you this when you didn’t ask him for a selfie. He might be looking for compliments on his appearance to boost his ego, but this can also be a sneaky way to try get you to send him pictures of yourself. Although it’s sadly common to receive unsolicited selfies these days, a guy who’s interested in your mind and not just a physical relationship will make more of an effort to win you over. He won’t only be interested in looks, whether it’s his or yours.
Texting is great, especially when your crush is consistent with his texting behavior. But what separates the guys who are sort of interested with the guys who want a meaningful relationship with you is when they phone you.
Moving from texting to phoning shows relationship progress. It reveals a guy who wants to hear your voice and connect with you on a deeper level.
So much gets lost in texting, such as tone, and a guy who’s interested in you will want to make the extra effort to connect with you in more ways than from behind a phone screen.
He drops you a text when he wants to make date plans, but then never chats with you just for the fun of it.
He might say that he prefers chatting IRL, which makes sense, but ultimately the relationship won’t go very far if you have different texting needs.
You might want to text regularly and stay in the loop when it comes to each other’s lives, whereas he sees texting as pointless chatter. This can cause problems down the line. In addition, if he doesn’t make regular plans to see you, that means he’s never actually texting you — and this can make you feel that you’re not even dating, at least not seriously.
You might have some amazing chats with him via text, but they mean nothing if he doesn’t want to see you in real life. A guy who’s interested in dating you seriously will want to spend lots of time with you. If he never invites you out, yet he sends you tons of texts, then he’s clearly quite happy with keeping your relationship on a superficial level. Even if the conversations are deep and you feel like you’re getting to know each other, it’s still not enough for a serious, committed relationship to occur.
Although people rarely end a texting conversation by saying goodnight or promising to chat the next day, it’s not cool for someone to ignore you right in the middle of an important chat, such as after you’ve asked him if he’d like to video chat or meet up for coffee sometime.
It’s so unfair to leave you hanging, especially if you’ve asked him something that requires a straight, honest answer, or you’ve put your heart on the line.
What does it take to reply? Clearly he’s not showing you that he’s interested because he doesn’t care that he’s torturing you with his lack of response.
It’s not just his texting habits when you’re not in the same room that can reveal his level of interest in you. You should also look at how he treats his phone when you’re together. Does he “phub” you? “Phubbing” is described as snubbing someone you’re with in favor of using your phone, according to Healthline. If your partner’s “phubbing” you, it could mean that he’s busy texting other people when he’s on a date with you. It’s a clear sign that you’re not a priority in his life, and it’s so rude!
When you started chatting via text, you’d hear from him daily. But now, he’s not getting in touch as much as he used to. This is a clear sign that things have slowed down when it comes to his feelings. Perhaps he wanted something serious but then changed his mind.
It’s not nice being on the receiving end of this, but the best thing is to detach instead of trying to get him to text you again. You shouldn’t have to persuade someone to be interested in you.
The right guy will show he’s interested by firing up your phone with texts on a consistent basis.
Does he only ever send you texts about the weather or the food he ate for lunch? Although it might make you feel like you’re bonding with each other because you’re talking about daily things, if he regularly allows the conversation to become mundane, it’s not a good sign. It’s like he’s just going with the flow, and being quite a lazy texter. If he’s really interested in dating you seriously, he’ll step up his conversation game and text you when he’s got something interesting and important to say.
How can you tell a guy wants something serious with you via text? When he shows interest in you by asking you questions to get to know more about you, as Her Campus reports.
Anyone can share a laugh or some light chatter, but a guy who’s interested will make more of an effort.
So, if he’s always talking about himself and never asks you questions about your life, day, or passions, the guy’s too self-absorbed to date seriously. He also sees you as someone he’d casually date instead of be serious about because it means he doesn’t have to do too much work.
You were having a fun conversation with him, then he vanished. Poof! You think maybe he got an important phone call or he grabbed a snack from the kitchen. You wait and wait, but he doesn’t return. Hello?
A guy who disappears when the conversation becomes deep doesn’t want to engage on a deeper level with you.
He’d prefer to keep things light and casual, which means he’s going to lack depth in your RL-relationship, too. But, even if he’s pulling a disappearing act when the convo’s light, it’s still a bad sign. He’s treating the relationship as something he can enter and exit whenever he feels like it.
When you see that the guy’s online and has read your message but hasn’t replied, it’s really frustrating. If it happens regularly, you can’t help but think he’s chatting to someone else and totally ignoring you. It’s the RL equivalent of being at a party with a guy who keeps leaving you alone because he’s too busy chatting to other women.
You probably wouldn’t accept that, so why should you accept it via text?
A guy who likes you will want to chat to you and he’ll make it clear you’re a priority.
If you can’t depend on a guy to keep his word, he’s showing you that he’s not holding himself up to boyfriend standards. An example can be seen with his texting behavior. If he tells you he’ll text you later, but then you don’t hear from him, he’s basically saying you can’t rely on him.
A guy won’t do that with someone he really likes and wants to impress. He’ll make sure that his words match his actions, so if he’s always leaving you hanging via text, don’t take the bait!
You’ve got better things to do with your time.