We all want true love. Whether or not we spend hours devoted to the search for it or just happen to find it and thus check it off our mental life list varies from person to person based on personality and unique quirks. The end goal is to find that one special person who will stick by us through thick and thin, always have our back during those intense family gatherings, and always bring us our favorite sweets from the store. We want someone to grow old with, argue with and share all of our sick and vacation days with us.
Finding that person is the hard part for most of us. At the end of a long day of failed dating attempts, most of us pick up the phone to call our bestie and chat with them about the idiots we find online and how hard it is to find a good man who likes the same flavor of ice cream that we do. It turns out that our bestie just might be our soulmate and we don’t even know it yet! He is essentially the ideal man by whom we measure all the other guys. If this sounds unlikely, here are 15 signs that he is our soulmate.
One thing we are definitely certain of with our best guy friend is that we can talk to him about anything — even stuff we normally reserve for our girlfriends. And he does the same with us. We can, and sometimes do, call him up at random hours and just dump everything on him. He rolls with it really well because he cares about us and what we have to say. According to Hello Giggles,
“You don’t worry about grossing him out or revealing too much information about anything in your life because you’re close.
That level of trust and comfort are exactly what you need in a long-lasting relationship.”
When we are with our bestie, we can relax and completely be ourselves. With our boyfriend, we usually have to doll up a bit and obsess over the finer details (this goes away with a few years of marriage). Our bestie totally knows what we look like without makeup and he still brings us coffee and a doughnut in the morning because he cares. As Your Tango points out, “Come on, nobody knows you like your best friend. A BFF is the only person who totally gets you. Your biggest secrets, memories, and laughs are all shared with that one person.”
Nothing hurts worse than a breakup or being fired or losing our good luck charm. When the tears start to roll and we know an ugly crying session is in store, there is no one else we want around except for our best friend. He knows what kind of chocolate to bring and isn’t fazed by our tears.
He knows exactly what to do or say to help us calm down and work through it.
And sometimes, he doesn’t have to say anything at all. According to Hello Giggles, “You’re not afraid to ugly cry in his presence. Let’s be real, we all have to ugly cry sometimes.”
If we have a problem, we go tell our bestie. If we have great news, we go tell our bestie. If it rained or we saw a kitten, we go tell our bestie. We tell him everything and he patiently listens, soaking up every word. And more often than not, he tries to fix all our problems. Love Panky says,
“Guys who are into their friends always want to feel like they’re doing something more.
They want to help and fix and assist in any way. So if he’s always jumping at the chance to help you out, he likes you.”
Hello Giggles says, “His opinion matters a great deal to you, and he’ll always tell you that you deserve a man who understands how amazing you are.” When we have this much positive influence in our lives, it can seem really unfair when we keep encountering less-than-amazing guys.
When we encounter a guy-related problem, we turn to our handy-dandy male translator who usually clears it up for us while giving us a much-needed pep talk to boost our self-confidence at the same time.
If everyone had their own personal translator, a lot of problems would be quickly solved.
Many of us have protective older brothers — which is nice. But for those of us who don’t, there is a difference in how a brother protects us and how our soulmate protects us. A brother protects us in a brief flash of anger at our grievance and then swings into teasing while our bestie wants to defend us from everything all the time. It’s sweet, but a little exhausting too. According to Her Way,
“Besides, he has a natural urge to protect you because of his romantic feelings for you.
Therefore, he thinks it is his duty to protect you and your needs.”
We know our guy is protective and supportive of us as a friend, but sometimes this thread of support can go deeper. If he is going above and beyond the call of friendship to support us in something we are doing, there is the strong possibility that he likes us more than a friend. And we know that soulmates are very supportive. According to Love Panky,
“You can talk about anything and he’s right there, listening intently to everything.
It’s because he genuinely cares about what you have to say. This is usually the case when we like someone.”
According to Bolde, “You can talk about anything and he’s right there, listening intently to everything.
It’s because he genuinely cares about what you have to say. This is usually the case when we like someone.”
This is a form of communication which develops over time when two people are together constantly. We pick up on each other’s body language, personality quirks, and facial expressions enough to know exactly what they are thinking about almost everything. It is rather like having a very special superpower that no one else has but the two of us. And we are so synced up now that it can be difficult to turn off the communication.
Sandwiches! Or probably not, but maybe. Especially if we are both super into sandwiches. Anyways, Bolde says,
“One of you is telling a story and the other one jumps in and flawlessly finishes what you were about to say.
You’re both on the same wavelength and can predict what the other one is going to say before they even say it.” This goes hand in hand with the easy communications. When we have it down this good, it is impossible not to finish each other’s sentences and to know exactly what to order at the drive-thru on our way to his house for Netflix.
The two of us have always hung out together, doing fun things and just chilling like the BFFs that we are. But now there is an extra step to his walk and a twinkle in his eye. The get-togethers are more exciting and fun with just a splash of flirty and a hint of a date to the whole event. According to A New Mode, “Does he tease you? If he’s playful with you and his body language indicates interest, if he turns up the charm only for you and not for the other women in your circle, then chances are he wants you to know he’s interested in you.”
Sometimes our guy bestie is part of our core group of friends. We met through so-and-so who then brought someone else into the group, and everyone just merged into our big friend group. Everyone knows that he is our bestie, but when they start to tease us about being more than just friends, it is a sign that our friends are picking up on something we might be missing. According to Her Way, “One of the most obvious signs a friend likes you romantically is the fact that he doesn’t treat you like he does all of his other friends.”
A New Mode says, “Respect is incredibly important to men. If he respects you as a person, values your opinions, and seems to admire you, then chances increase that he will like you as more than a friend.” If he respects us, then that translates to him showing up on time, giving us space if we ask for it, listening to and valuing our opinions and so many other little things that add up so immensely. Soulmates naturally respect each other deeply to the point where it is second nature to show respect toward one another, and our bestie is no exception.
When we are in the early stages of a relationship, we often cover things like deal breakers and where we see our lives going over the course of five or ten years. We do this to make sure everything adds up and fits well. Our bestie already knows all these things about us and we know his as well, and surprisingly, they match up pretty smoothly, like two puzzle pieces. Love Pankysays, “Talking about the future in terms of what type of family and adult life you want to have is something you do with someone you like. It just shows that he wants to know if you’re compatible in that way.”
He might not be a superhero, but he is definitely the guy who initiates everything when it comes time to plan get-togethers or even just start the new day with a good morning text. Guys are not afraid to work for something when they really want it, and one clear sign that he is our soulmate and likes us is when he works for our connections. As A New Mode says, “If he’s always the one to initiate conversations, either by calling or texting or approaching you in person when he sees you, this means he’s drawn to you, and he doesn’t want to leave having a connection with you up to chance.”
Finally, we likely wouldn’t be Googling stuff like this at this hour of the night if we weren’t already certain that our bestie is our soulmate and therefore perfect for us. He completes us in ways that our boyfriends have utterly failed to do. He always has time for us, makes us feel special, and already loves us. According to I Diva, “You know how you meet some people and the bond just clicks? You get along effortlessly and you know that you finally have a partner in crime to be crazy with for the rest of your life.”
Not convinced? Here are fives not to cross that line with him.
When we are thinking about dating someone, we run them through a certain set of filters to vet them before moving onto the next step of forming a relationship. When making new friends, we use different filters to vet them as friends. If we end up merging the two, our different filters will cross and we might spot something we missed. According to Bustle, “It’s far easier to spot red flags early on in a relationship with someone who isn’t your best friend, because you make allowances for your best friend and let them get away with things that, no way you’d let others get away with when it comes to dating you.”
Bustle says, “They know all your deepest, darkest secrets. This is a tough premise on which to build a romance. Typically, a partner learns these secrets in a different way—not as a confidante, but as someone new in your life with whom you’re sharing to create [a bond with].” Sure, we are supposed to know each other’s secrets in a relationship, but that is built differently than a friendship and we share the secrets differently. We use a different lens to view them and that lens can get all distorted after we change the dynamic of our friendship. Plus, he knows all of our secrets.
Or at least this one. There is always the strong possibility that by taking the necessary steps to move from besties to lovers, we ultimately destroy the friendship we have now. Is that really something we want to do? What if this new dynamic flops? According to Thought Catalog,
“There’s a reason so many successful couples say ‘I married my best friend.’
They say it because no one will ever understand you like your close friends will, no one will ever get the way you tick as well as your close friends, and no significant other can read your mind as well as a friend.”
We get along great as friends, so why wouldn’t we work out as more than friends? Quite simply, we aren’t romantically compatible. The energy, flow, and dynamic change drastically when we are in a romantic relationship with someone. Those annoying quirks of his that don’t bother us very much as friends will suddenly be irritating as lovers. We all have different rule books when it comes to relationships. According to Bustle, “However, sometimes when you start dating your best friend, you assume the friendship compatibility will automatically cross over the partner compatibility, but that’s not always the case.”
Yep, once it is all said and done, there is the very strong possibility that our epic friendship is over and gone. We usually tell him all about our broken relationships but we can’t with this one because he is involved too intimately and we don’t have anyone else to turn to now. We spent years building this friendship only to lose it all completely in a matter of days. Bustle says, “Your best friend may be your comfort and your solace in times of trouble, but if you date your best friend and things don’t work out, you’ve lost that resource.”