Has there ever been a time in your life where you weren’t interested in sex? The Daily Mail reports that up to 50 percent of women have had times when they had no sexual drive. These women lose their sexual drive for many reasons: stress, depression, and even birth control pills. Other women appear to be choosing a lifestyle that doesn’t include sex and their reasons vary from wanting to focus on a career to not wanting the relationship drama in their lives.
Whatever their reason, many women are choosing to become abstinent in growing numbers. In fact, abstinence is becoming an underground trend. Women are publicly announcing that they are asexual. Men are also joining in on this latest trend, as asexual networks and groups continue to form and gain a presence on the internet.
While it would be easy for a woman to think that her lack of sexual desire makes her weird in this world where being sexy and looking sexy is everywhere, women worldwide are starting to speak out. Sex is not a driving force for these women. They have other passions, other responsibilities, and a desire to move beyond the limits of a basic, physical need.
The career woman is a fairly new idea that has taken us years to accept and perfect. Today, women from all walks of life can venture out and start a career in whatever field she chooses. The other side of this trend is that more and more women are finding that they can’t focus on their career and playing the role of attentive girlfriend at the same time. Sure, men can focus on their careers while dating, but that is because women give them that space and encouragement. Some men, on the other hand, aren’t ready to take on the role of attentive partner for a woman who is always on the go. The best solution, women are finding, is to put sex and relationships on the back burner for the time being.
Some women are born to be rebels. With the media constantly focusing on women’s sexuality, the desire to be different and to buck the system can be strong. Also, many women just don’t have the time to focus on being sexy all the time. By shuffling off the pressure to look sexy and alluring, women are finding that they can focus on just being a human being, with thoughts and feelings that don’t revolve around having a man desire her sexually.
According to the Daily Mail, more than a third of women do not have orgasms with their partner. While the pleasure may be there to make her man happy, not having an orgasm during sex can easily make one turn away from the act altogether. For women who aren’t having orgasms, they are beginning to feel as though there is little point to bothering with sex. They are giving up sex and focusing their time and energy on things that do bring them happiness and pleasure.
Sometimes giving up sex isn’t about the woman at all. It is about the kids. Kids have constant needs and many women feel that the needs of their kids outweigh everything else. After taking care of what they eat, making sure they have clean clothes and a clean home to live in, and making the days run smoothly with conflicting schedules, a mother is tired out by the end of the day. The last thing she wants to worry about is having to please a boyfriend or husband. This is why many women with children give up sex: to focus solely on raising the children.
It is a fact. To make a relationship work, you will need to devote a lot of time to it. This means alone time, sex, and family time. Then there is all the drama that can come with a relationship, and what do you get out of it? If a woman is already financially sound, has a job, and keeps herself busy with hobbies and goals, a relationship and the sex that comes with it are just too much of a hassle. She knows she is better off living alone and not bothering with all the strings attached to sex.
Depression can affect a person in many different ways. It can cause a person to become anti-social, reckless, and constantly tired. To be blunt, sex and depression rarely mix. When someone is suffering from depression, their best option is to not only seek psychiatric help, but to also focus exclusively on themselves. Depression is a disease that needs to be worked through and, sometimes, medically managed. The sufferer knows she cannot contribute to a healthy relationship and sex, and so she works on improving herself.
Women are complex. They don’t have sex just to “do it”. They need an emotional attachment, as well. When they are stuck in a relationship where they don’t feel loved, they lose their sex drive. Instead of going through all the drama of cheating, many choose to go celibate. This is usually a conscious decision. All of the arguing, ignoring the partner, and mistrust can build up over time. Giving up on the sex act because they are in a bad relationship happens to many women during their lifetime.
According to The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, roughly 3 out of 4 women experience pain during sex in their lifetime. Sometimes the painful sex is caused by a medical problem, such as endometriosis. Other times sex can be painful due to relationship issues and a general lack of sexual desire. The pain alone is enough for many women to dread having sexual intercourse. It is much easier for them to give up sex altogether or for the time being than to force themselves to endure the painful act.
Stress affects the body in many ways. For a woman, one of the first things that go during stressful times is sex. During times of extreme stress, a woman’s mind is filled with other things she must be working on. Taking time out for sex just doesn’t enter the picture. In fact, she may view it as a waste of her time or maybe even a cause to many of the problems she is struggling through. Instead of sex, she focuses on what needs to be done. She struggles to work through each problem, untangling the mess so that one day, hopefully soon, she can relax again and enjoy some of the simpler pleasures life has to offer.
ABC News reports that birth control pills can sometimes be blamed for a woman’s lack of a sex drive. The pill causes an increase of a protein found in the blood stream to bind with the testosterone in our bodies and thus decreasing our libido. The choices are limited for recovering from low libido due to birth control pills. A doctor may recommend a lower dose of the pill with the only other option being to use a different form of birth control.
Rape and sexual molestation are two events that turn many women towards celibacy. Their reasons for giving up on sex are varied, but the main reason is to heal. After experiencing sexual violence, a woman needs to retreat mentally and physically. She will most likely feel the need to reexamine her life and the choices she has made. She might go through a period of anger and depression, but, with help, she will work her way through it. Taking time away from sex will give her the room she needs to find herself again and to discover who she really is.
She gets up in the morning, gets the kids ready and off to school, goes to work, comes home, stopping to pick up the kids on her way, steps into the house and begins the circus called dinnertime. After dinner comes chores, homework, and if there is any time left, a bit of hanging out in front of the television. Then, it is the mad bedtime rush, getting teeth scrubbed, clothes out for school the next day, stories read, and kisses goodnight. Let’s face it, after the day is done, most women just want to get under the covers and pass out. If they have any energy left, they might want to watch some of their own television or read a book. Adding sex to the list would be like adding laundry – too much of a chore.
In a 2004 article on CNN, it was stated that about 1 in 100 people are asexual. This means that these people choose to not have sex with other people. Since 2004, many new outlets are reporting an increase in the asexual lifestyle as more celebrities are coming out as asexual, such as Janeane Garofalo, Steven Patrick Morrissey, and Paula Poundstone. Turning away from sex and all of its entrapments is more than just a fad. Both men and women are finding celibacy to be a liberating experience that enables them to focus on following their dreams, perfecting their art, and building their own personal empire.
Not everyone is interested in having sex. Women of all ages can experience a severe drop in libido for numerous reasons and there are other women who simply don’t have sex on their priority list. While sex is a major part in most established relationships, a sudden change in libido can often destroy marriages. Women who are turning away from sex are rediscovering their lives as single women and are learning to gain a stronger independence than they have ever experienced before.