These things are what guys can’t stop thinking about…
Ever notice how some girls just seem to have the ability to magically cause men to go from sane to psychotically obsessed with them?
Though some guys tend to get more obsessive than others, there are quite a few female qualities that men go gaga over.
Now, I’m skeptical of this because I’ve been burned out by guys, but my guy friends are adamant that the thing that makes them hung up over a girl is her personality rather than her looks. As one of my friends explained, “This one girl had me bad because she could even make doing taxes fun. I was hooked.”
I’ve personally witnessed this with one of my exes, who would literally go through the clothes in my laundry hamper to smell my dirty clothing. To a point, it makes sense. Everyone has a different smell, and our body odor has pheromones in it. When a guy’s very into you, he might start sniffing your clothes like my ex did.
Guys are, in a lot of ways, like overgrown puppies with better toilet training. You know how puppies go crazy when you praise them and tell them they’re good boys? Guys are very similar. They are addicted to getting praise and compliments from girls. It’s validating for them. So, it shouldn’t surprise you the lengths guys will go to get said praise.
One guy who I used to date would always check my nails because he knew I love doing nail art and following Instagram nail art trends. Eventually, he flat out said that my love of having long, multicolored claws was kind of an obsession for him. Who’s to say that a guy won’t obsess over hair color or makeup style either?
Men are s*x obsessed by nature, so it shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone that guys will end up getting obsessed over a girl who can really blow their minds in bed. I’ve personally seen guys crawl back to an ex who was purported “the best they’ve ever had,” DECADES after the relationship ended. Yes, good s*x skills are that important if you want to get a guy thinking nonstop.
This is something that personally irks me, but it’s human nature. It’s the Push-Pull Dynamic at work, which means guys will get obsessed about chasing a girl who’s just standoffish enough to make them think they have a chance. A lot of guys won’t catch feelings unless a girl is just out of their grips. This is why the best way to get a guy is often to make sure you aren’t around him 24/7.
This is actually a very common obsessive behavior that is most often seen in narcissists. Basically, when this happens, a guy isn’t really into you as a person. He’s into what you symbolize to him or what he imagines you to be. It happens. You can’t control it, neither is it your fault if you aren’t who he wants you to be. It sucks, doesn’t it?
From what I’ve been told by guy friends, most guys don’t like a doormat. Guys like a girl who will push back against him and give him boundaries not to cross. A guy who’s really into strong women will see that and basically get a bit obsessed with her in an admiring way. A guy who is a misogynist will often get obsessed with “breaking” her. Either way, it’s better to be strong here.
Here’s a little confession I’ve heard from many guys I’ve dated: I’m not usually their type, but they just can’t stop thinking about the fact that my sense of style is awesome. If you have a good sense of fashion and know how to dress for your body, you’re already winning that game.
If you want to get a guy to obsess over you, make a point of being a mystery to him. Mystery tends to reel them in and make them want to know more. Don’t spill your guts, as that tends to be about as s*xy as it sounds to men.
True story, sometimes it really is the flaws you have that make guys go crazy over you. I, for example, have a six-inch long facial scar running from my forehead, through my eye, to my cheek. A lot of guys have begged me to stop wearing makeup just because they were so obsessed with my “cartoon villain” scar. (Oddly enough, I wear makeup to hide it.)
Most of my guy friends go crazy for feminine auras. I don’t understand how to build that aura due to my genderlessness, but I definitely understand the power it holds. So, if you want him to obsess, embrace your inner femininity.