You have sex with your partner, because that’s what couples do, but you don’t always enjoy it. After all, he’s the one who gets to end the night with a climax while you’re left feeling unsatisfied. Well, that shouldn’t be the case. Men don’t deserve to hit the big “O” any more than women do, which means it’s time for us all to change the way we think about doing the deed.
Sex is meant to be enjoyed by both parties. It’s not something that you should be dreading, or something that you should do because you feel like you’re required to do it. You should only do it, because you want to, and the only way you’ll want to is if you get something from it. In other words, you should be finishing just as often as your partner does.
Want some incentive? Climaxing can boost your immune system, get rid of your cramps, and destroy your headaches. That’s in addition to helping you sleep, reducing your stress, and increasing your intimacy with your partner. Basically, they’ll make you feel better mentally and physically. So if you haven’t been finishing during sex, it’s time for that to change.
If you want to improve your sex life, first you have to figure out where you’re going wrong. Chances are that the problem is a common one, which means that the solution is simple. All you’ll have to do is tweak your routine a little, and it’ll make a major difference. Here are a few possible reasons why you never finish during sex:
12-You’re Not Engaging In Enough Foreplay
If the wind blows a certain way, your man will be ready for sex. Unfortunately, women are a bit more complicated. We can’t have sex on command. It takes us a while to get ready for the act. That’s why, if you have sex without engaging in foreplay ahead of time, you aren’t going to finish as quickly as you should–or even at all. You might even be in pain the entire time, because you won’t be wet enough. That’s why you can’t skip the foreplay, no matter how inconvenient it is for your man, because it’s necessary for you.
11-You’re Not Speaking Up
You always hear about how important communication is in a relationship, which means your sex life will flourish if you speak your mind. After all, your man won’t know what you like unless you tell him. That means you should give him the lowdown on what you want, and what you don’t want, him to do to you. You’re two mature adults. If you can sleep with each other, then you can have a conversation about sleeping with each other. You can’t expect your man to magically know what’s going on in your head. He’s not a mind reader. The only way you’ll get what you want is if you actually tell him.
10-You’re Worried You’re Taking Too Long
You already know that it takes longer for women to get turned on than it takes men. Well, it also takes longer for women to climax than it takes men. That’s why you shouldn’t feel bad if your boyfriend’s head has been in between your legs for a full hour. If you keep glancing at the clock and freaking out over how long it’s taking you to finish, then it’s never going to happen. You have to remain calm as the minutes pass by. Your body won’t respond well if your head is filled with nagging thoughts. So try your best to remain relaxed.
9-You Don’t Know Your Own Body Well Enough
You shouldn’t be embarrassed about playing with yourself. After all, if you don’t have a clue how to make yourself climax, how can you expect your boyfriend to do the job for you? You’re supposed to know your body better than anyone. If it feels like a complete stranger to you, then you should play with yourself more often to figure out what types of touching you like the best. Experiment with your hands and experiment with toys. Once you learn what gets you off, you can pass on the information to your boyfriend. He’ll be happy for all of your help.
8-You’re Too Stressed
This is the main reason why most women have trouble finishing in the bedroom. Life is stressful. You have chores to do, paperwork to finish, and kids to take care of. However, when you’re beneath the sheets, you shouldn’t be worrying about any of those things. You should be letting loose and ignoring all of your daily problems. If you dwell on them, you’ll only stress yourself out. That means your body will stiffen and your mind will wander. It’s impossible to enjoy the moment when you’re stressing out about every little thing, but that’s what good sex is all about.
7-You Don’t Think It’s Normal For Women To Climax
Men always finish during sex, but women rarely do, right? Wrong. Stop believing that all of the jokes you hear on television and horror stories you hear from your friends are normal. You shouldn’t be fooled into thinking that it’s okay for a woman to have sex without getting anything out of it. Sex shouldn’t be a chore for you. It shouldn’t be painful, either. You should be enjoying it just as much as your boyfriend does. It doesn’t matter that it’s harder for a woman to orgasm or that it takes longer. Good sex ends with two satisfied parties. It’s as simple as that.
6-You Don’t Know The Man You’re Sleeping With Well Enough
Most women claim that it’s easier to climax when they’re having sex with a man that they’re madly in love with. That means all of the casual one-night stands you’ve been having with complete strangers haven’t been doing you any favors. After all, sex is an intimate act. That’s why someone with a pretty face and a nice chest might not get you off. You’ll feel more comfortable with someone who knows you inside and out, someone who loves your personality as much as your body. Love really can make sex feel a million times better, which is why women in serious relationships tend to be more sexually satisfied than women who play the field.
5-You’re Not Attracted To Him
Even if the man you’ve been sleeping with has some pretty amazing moves, you probably won’t climax if you think he’s unattractive. Unfortunately, looks are important. That’s why you should keep your standards high and only date men that you find physically and mentally appealing. Of course, if you have your heart set on staying with someone who isn’t exactly a looker, you can always rely on your fantasies to help get you off during sex. The mind is a pretty powerful tool. If you imagine someone or something sexy, you’ll increase your chances of finishing, even if your man isn’t the most attractive.
4-Your Partner Is Selfish
You’re never going to climax, unless your partner actually tries to pleasure you. If he’s entirely focused on getting himself off, and doesn’t care about whether or not you finish, then sex isn’t going to be much fun for you. Women need different types of stimulation than men do.
3-You’re Not Relaxed Enough
You can’t let your self-consciousness get the best of you. If you’re worried about what your stomach looks like and how much your makeup has smudged, then you’re never going to have any fun. You have to let yourself relax. If you’re with a man you feel comfortable with, then that shouldn’t be a problem. Just remember that he’s happy to be in bed with you. If he didn’t like what you looked like, he wouldn’t have brought you home with him in the first place. You’re beautiful, so stop asking your partners to turn off the lights and let you keep your top on.
2-You Don’t Think You Deserve It
You deserve to climax. Never forget that. Some women won’t even try to finish, because they’re only focused on making their partner climax. They assume that sex is all about male pleasure, but that’s completely ridiculous. Sex is supposed to be about two people enjoying each other’s bodies. If you make the experience all about the man, then you’re being unfair to your entire gender. Men aren’t any better than women are, so why should they get to have all of the fun? If he gets to orgasm, then you should, too. You’re equals, after all. Start acting like it.
1-You Think Your Body Is More Complicated Than It Is
You’ve been told time and time again how difficult it is for a woman to achieve orgasm, and that mindset might be setting you up for failure. But even though it takes women longer to finish than men, that doesn’t mean it’s difficult. Truth be told, it’s not actually all that hard. It’s all in your head. If you know what you like, and your partner knows what you like, then you shouldn’t have a problem getting off. Don’t fool yourself into believing that your body is some complicated form of machinery. It’s pretty simple, once you get the hang of it.