Nowadays, girls are starting to get hot and heavy even younger and younger. Ever seen “Train Wreck?” The sexual revolution was portrayed in Sex in the City and consumed by women everywhere. There are good and bad aspects to this movement. Of course equality is fantastic, but not when it comes to a desensitized generation of women and men to sex. Sex is undoubtedly one of the best pastimes, and we’re all for it. Unless you’re celibate, or waiting until marriage, that’s cool too. However, there are more reasons to not having sex than simply being on your period, or that you’re ultra religious. It’s okay to say no. We’ve listed 15 of the numerous reasons to say so.
12-Get to know someone’s personality.
I know, it sounds cheesy. He might be smoking hot. But no matter how good looking a person is, if he’s an absolute drag, you won’t even want to go over to his house for a booty call occasionally. Once sex happens, we’re less likely to ask deep questions and feel that initial sense of romance. The mind will wander to sex when intimacy starts to happen, giving you no chance to get to know someone’s true personality.
11-Hormones will make you attached.
Whether you like it or not, biology works in its own way. The hormone oxytocin, nicknamed “the cuddle hormone,” tricks our brain into feeling all kinds of groundless emotions for sexual partners – love, trust, closeness, and all the things that get you checking your phone every 30 seconds to see if he texts you back.
Anticipation is fun in itself. Don’t you miss that butterfly feeling you felt when you weren’t quite sure what came next? Instant gratification can desensitize us to sex and ruin all of the good stuff that happens first.
You won’t look back and wish that you slept with that person you weren’t too sure about. If he’s a good guy and it’s meant to be, it’ll probably happen. More often than not we’re regretting the guys we did sleep with, the guys that we’re embarrassed we even associated with. Regret is an awful thing to live with. Avoid it at all costs.
You should throw a few of these fun facts out at anyone who makes fun of you for waiting for sex. According to a study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, “females age 15-24 acquire half of all new STDs and 1 in 4 sexually active adolescent females have an STD such as Chlamydia or human papillomavirus (HPV). According to the American Sexual Health Association, more than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.
7-You have your whole life and future relationship to have get hot and heavy.
I know we like to say life is short, but hey, it’s the longest thing we do. Stop rushing. We have time, now let’s take it slow and saver it bit by bit. Think about things that you’ve rushed in your life, and have either come out messy or so fast that you barely had time to experience them.
6-Weed out the rotten eggs.
Any good guy will wait for you to have sex. Abstaining from sex for a while is like testing a guy on the dousche-o-meter. Have you ever slept with someone and found that he totally changed after sex? If not, try and keep it that way. The longer you wait the more you will be able to tell what he is after, if he only wants to hook up he will run out of patience quickly.
5-Have a chance to be different.
If you’re finding it hard to stick out amongst the sea of single girls waiting around for that one guy out of a million to make a decent boyfriend, consider sticking it out. Most girls give it up after a few nights, mostly for attention. However, it’s the inaction over action that will have him calling you back. If you have already tried this you know it to be true.
4-Try other ways to get creative with your affection.
We can express affection in so many fun and interesting ways. Sex is just the easiest and most convenient. Effort is effort, but how many things worthwhile can you really say were easy? Try something different, you can still show your affection for someone in ways other than sex. See how much closer this can bring you.
3-You don’t owe him anything.
We need to destroy the concept of expecting something after dates with guys. I know many friends who have met on Tinder and dated long term, but I also know someone who went on a Tinder date with a guy who asked her to go sleep with him directly after buying a drink for her at the bar. Let’s laugh at (and not give in to) these idiots.
2-You’re not missing out.
Some guys suck at sex. Many of the times we feel pressure to have sex early are when we are not ready, tired, drunk, etc. after a long night out. Guys have a particularly “hard time” having sex (ironically) when they are drunk. Wet noodle syndrome, yuck. You’ll be so turned off by him that you will ruin the sex in the future. He may be so stressed out next time that he’ll never be able to get it up.
1-You don’t want to.
It’s that simple. If you don’t feel like it, don’t get into a habit of always saying yes. Learning how to say no is one of those things that doesn’t always come with age and takes serious practice. Saying no empowers us in our every day lives, and importantly in the bedroom. Take initiative, know what you want and reap the benefits of choice.