It’s not always easy to know if you and your partner should have a bit of time apart to think things through and work through your issues, or if it’s best to terminate the relationship for good. While there’s no right or wrong answer to this dilemma, there are definitely times when choosing a relationship break instead of a breakup can be better for you. An example is if you need some time to yourself to think about the relationship and if it’s worth being in – without the distraction of your partner’s presence clouding your thinking. This sort of relationship timeout can be highly beneficial and it’s a way to stop neglecting your needs and priorities.
On the other hand, there are sadly times when a relationship breakup, instead of a short break, is best for all concerned. Examples include when you don’t feel you can trust your partner anymore, or if he’s crossed a boundary which makes you feel that if you stay with him you’ll only end up feeling hurt and dissatisfied. It’s just not worth it!
Here are 10 signs your relationship could do with a bit of time apart, followed by 10 signs that it’s better to break up.
Having time for yourself is very important in a relationship. It gives you a chance to check in with your thoughts and feelings.
If you feel you’re not getting this time to yourself and you’re going through a confusing/difficult time with your partner, a relationship break can be the perfect opportunity to score “me time.”
It gives you time to work things out without the distraction of your partner. It also helps you return to the relationship feeling refreshed and knowing what to do if you’re in the middle of conflict with your partner, such as if you should proceed with the relationship or cut your losses.
What are your relationship needs and are they being met? If you’ve totally neglected your needs, that’s a warning sign you’re losing yourself to the relationship. A relationship break is in order to help you get back in tune with what it is you need from your partner in order to feel satisfied, secure, and happy. If you don’t take that time for yourself, you can end up settling for a relationship that doesn’t do you justice, and that’s not worth your time or energy!
You find yourself losing patience with your partner much more than you used to. Maybe he’s even commented that you’ve become very critical of him. But there’s probably a deeper reason for that, as reported by Bustle.
Maybe your needs are being neglected by your partner or it feels like you’re so different from each other, for example.
That doesn’t mean you need to end things (not necessarily), but it does mean that you could do with some time away from your partner to figure out what’s going on with your relationship.
First, you get annoyed with your partner about silly things. Then, you end up arguing all the time. Although arguing in a relationship can be healthy because it means you’re exposing and dealing with your issues, if it’s a regular occurrence then that’s a warning sign something’s not quite right. An example is if your fighting is always about really petty things that don’t even matter. There’s clearly lots of frustration in your relationship! You and your partner could both benefit from removing yourselves from the negative atmosphere for a while and seeing things from a different perspective.
When you imagine the future, do you see your partner standing beside you, sharing in it? Or do you find it difficult to think of that? Although the status quo of your relationship can be enjoyable for now, sooner or later you’ll have to move forward or end things.
If you don’t know where your relationship’s going, then you’re in desperate need of a relationship break so that you can figure it out.
There’s no point in wasting your time – or your partner’s – because you’re just going with the flow. Time to make a decision!
People usually freak out when their partners say they want more space in the relationship, but it can be really important to have this, especially if you’re feeling claustrophobic. As Elle Canada points out,
“Emotional and physical space from your partner nurtures the relationship because it provides a sense of independence for both, and it makes your relationship stronger because it allows it room to grow and flourish.”
If you haven’t been getting enough air, then a relationship break can be the emergency space that you need, ASAP!
There’s your relationship future, and then there’s your future as an individual with your own goals, dreams, and destiny. If you’re not sure where you’re headed in life and it’s starting to stress you out, you owe it to yourself to take time away to figure it out.
This time might include travel, crossing something off your bucket list, or just taking time to be alone and think. Your partner might wonder why you need to be away from them during this time, but maybe it feels like you need a bit of an escape from everything.
The important thing is to communicate with your partner so he knows your relationship break isn’t a breakup in disguise.
Fighting all the time can be damaging to your relationship and self-esteem, but never fighting because you’re afraid of conflict can be just as unhealthy! If you’re walking on eggshells around your partner because you don’t want to set him off or you’re afraid of getting into a fight, that’s toxic.
Imagine all the pent-up anger, sadness, and uncertainty that’s building up in your heart.
A relationship break can help you to deal with what issues you need to talk about with your partner, and maybe the time away from each other can help you communicate better than if you’re in the same room.
You want to live in another country. Your partner doesn’t want to get married, ever. You’re clashing when it comes to what you want and what you expect from each other in the relationship.
This is one of those situations where a relationship break can be highly valuable, but you should set some “break rules.” For example, make it a rule that while you’re away from each other, you’re both figuring out what you want and how to compromise.
The time away from each other isn’t supposed to be a holiday! Of course, there’s always the chance you’ll realize during your break that you don’t want to compromise on your standards or expectations, but then at least you’ll know how to proceed with more clarity.
Maybe your partner is always interrupting you when you talk or you enter the blame game in which you make him feel guilty for everything that’s wrong in your relationship.
Unhealthy communication is damaging because it alienates you and your partner from each other.
It’s not easy to communicate if you don’t know how to break your bad habits, which is why seeking professional help in the form of a relationship counselor can help. A bit of time away from each other, especially if face-to-face communication is particularly troublesome, can also be useful so you use the time to formulate your thoughts and return to the relationship with patience and kindness.
There’s fighting about the same old things, and then there’s fighting so badly that your issues never get resolved. Ever. This is damaging to your health and relationship over time. You feel frustrated and like you’re hitting your head against a brick wall. It’s so stressful. As Lori Salkin, senior matchmaker and dating coach, tells Elite Daily, “good communication includes fighting and making up.”
If you can’t seem to deal with your issues and problems, no matter what you try, then it’s probably best to cut your losses and end the relationship.
Why would you want to live in a battlefield every day? Life’s worth so much more than that.
If you’re going to make things work in your relationship, you and your partner have to be willing to see things from each other’s view. If your partner’s quite inflexible and stubborn all the time, it starts to feel like your opinions are always ignored. That’s not fair.
You’re supposed to be acknowledged and appreciated in your relationship, otherwise, what’s the point of being in it? Basically, seeing things from your perspective comes down to respect.
Your partner doesn’t have to agree with you on everything, of course, but he should respect your views and be open to compromise sometimes.
If you don’t feel like your partner’s there to cheer you on when you succeed and be a soft place to fall when you’re sad, then you’re basically free-falling in your relationship, and it hurts!
It’s even worse if you’re the one doing all the supporting and caring, and your partner doesn’t give back.
The Independent states that this type of relationship resembles a parent-child situation because one partner’s the caregiver while the other is the caretaker. It’s not fair, and a clear sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
When gauging relationship satisfaction, don’t just look at how you feel when you’re around your partner. Look at how you feel when you’re not in their company. Time to do your own activities and see your friends should be fun, but after a while, you should miss your partner.
If you don’t even think about them when you’re not with them or you actually avoid their texts because just seeing their name on your phone drains you, that’s a huge red flag that you’re unhappy in your relationship.
You don’t need a relationship break because deep down you know you want to end things – it’s time for a permanent breakup.
There are times when your partner changes for the better, but generally, waiting for them to change is draining and toxic, as Bolde reports. The only person you can change is yourself.
If you’re hoping that your partner will “come around” and fix their fatal flaws so that they’re a better boyfriend or they have their life together, or they treat you better, you’ll be waiting a long time.
It’s important to see people for who they are, not for who they might become. You deserve someone who’s not a work in progress but a great boyfriend already!
If you’re doing all the work to repair the relationship and your partner seems like he doesn’t care or he’s happily going with the flow, that’s not a good sign. No matter what you do — go for counselling or take a relationship break — it probably won’t solve anything. The best thing to do is end the relationship and go your separate ways. It might sound like a scary idea, especially if you’re in a long-term relationship, but just thin,: you’re already leading separate lives anyway!
Settling for less than you deserve in a relationship is so damaging to your life. Some people do it because they’re afraid of being single, but they might not realize they’re actually sabotaging their chances of finding a fulfilling relationship by remaining stuck in an unsatisfying one!
If you settle for less than you deserve, it requires you to reject your relationship standards and your happiness. Why would you do that to yourself?
It only hurts you in the end and prevents you from being happy as a single person. It really is better to be alone and happy than coupled up and miserable.
Without trust in your relationship, there’s always a blanket of uncertainty over everything because you know you can’t turn to your partner and depend on him, and you can’t relax knowing that he’s being faithful and committed. Psychology Today reports that without trust, the relationship is doomed to fail.
“Trust is one of the keystones of any relationship — without it two people cannot be comfortable with each other and the relationship lacks stability,”
the site explains. It’s clear that if you don’t have trust, you don’t have anything of value.
Everyone needs to have relationship deal-breakers — those things that you won’t accept from a partner no matter what, such as dishonesty or infidelity. If your partner has violated one of your deal-breakers, accepting the behavior means that you’re putting yourself on the line for it to happen again.
Your deal-breakers are set in stone to protect you from toxic situations, and if your partner’s violated them, then that’s a clear sign he’s not someone who has your best interests at heart.
It really is time to move on!
You and your partner were going through a tough time, so you took a relationship break from each other. When you returned to the relationship, things hadn’t got better. Maybe you’re still dealing with the same conflict, pain, or dissatisfaction. Exhausting, isn’t it? It’s a myth to think a relationship break is a magic wand that will fix your relationship.
You and your partner have to put in the work otherwise nothing will work! But, if you’ve both tried to repair things during a relationship break and it still didn’t help anything, then you have to consider breaking up for good.
It’s just not fair on either of you to drag things out.