You met a great guy during your holiday and you soon had an amazing romance, but now it’s almost over. Does the relationship you’ve been having need to end along with the holiday? It doesn’t always have to! Sometimes, those fun holiday relationships can be taken into your real life back home. They might even become serious. But how can you tell?
One of the most important things is to notice what the guy’s telling you about your relationship during the holiday. Is he open and honest about his feelings for you, or does he seem to act flaky when you ask him about your situation? By staying in tune with your feelings and trying to gauge his, you’ll prevent the awkward situation of hoping that the holiday fling could become something more while he’s quite happy to let it go.
Here are 10 signs your holiday romance is hinting at real love, followed by 10 signs that you’re wasting your time and should end the romance with your holiday.
You’ve had such an amazing time on holiday together and he feels the same way. He’s already told you that he wants to see you after the holiday. But, he’s gone one step further and made specific plans to see you, down to the day and place! This is a really promising sign because he’s being so definite about what happens after the vacation. It shows that he’s keen on having a relationship outside of the holiday that will mean something in your real lives back home.
You’ve been together throughout the whole holiday and you’ve grown so close. You started to get a case of the feels for this guy, and he then expressed to you that he’s fallen in love with you. Although it’s good to tread with caution here, if he seems genuine and those three words match his actions – for example, he’s been really loving with you and has acted like your boyfriend – then that bodes well for a relationship future.
If you’re leaving the holiday behind and going off in totally different directions when it comes to your life plans, this isn’t a good sign. On the other hand, if you’re on the same page with what you want out of life, especially when it comes to your goals, then you could definitely make a relationship work back home. As Bustle points out, “finding someone whose future plans line up with yours is special, even if your lives don’t seem to be quite in sync at the moment.”
It’s obviously not always possible to introduce your holiday date to your family or friends. If this was possible, such as because he was holidaying with friends, and he was quick to introduce you to his loved ones, that’s a really good sign of where he stands. He’s not wasting any time in letting you gain full access to his world. If he can’t let you meet them right now, there are other ways in which he can show you that he wants something serious with you. He might, for example, tell you that he’s already told his friends back home that he wants you to meet them.
Although you want to have fun during your holiday, if you have feelings for the guy you’re dating you’ll probably want to talk to him at some point about what will happen when you break up. If he’s willing to have this conversation and he’s expressed how heartbroken he’d be if you had to go your separate ways, this tells you two important things: he probably doesn’t want to break up and he really has feelings for you. Maybe you’ll be able to decide on how to make your relationship work after the holiday, such as by having a long-distance relationship.
Holiday romances are synonymous with whirlwind romances. But they don’t always have to be. If you’ve paced yourself instead of rushing into love, this is a good sign that your relationship could continue to grow at a realistic pace once the holiday reaches its end. Bustle points out that being taken on real dates during the holiday is another good sign that your relationship is progressing and becoming something legit. You might be smoothly transitioning from singledom to relationshipville!
You know more about your partner than just how cool they look in their surfer shorts or how well they kiss. When you show a real interest in getting to know each other and discovering what you’re both about, you set a healthy foundation for a relationship that can last even though the holiday’s on its way out. By getting to know each other, you also see if you’re really compatible or not. Because let’s face it, you can’t tell that just by the spark you felt when you met each other.
If he came on too strongly when he met you, such as by showering you with affection when he hardly even knew your name, that can point to a whirlwind romance that’ll self-destruct by the time the holiday’s over. On the other hand, if he took his time to show his affection and you both set the pace for the relationship, that signals mutual respect. He wants to impress you enough that you’ll want something long-term with him.
If you start dating someone on holiday and they’re quite different from you, it makes sustaining a romance in your real lives much more difficult. If you and your partner share things in common when it comes to your morals, standards, and values, this can help ease the transition into a real-life romance. It means you’re headed in similar directions and face life with the same perspective, which will make a relationship smoother to maintain once you get back home.
It’s not just your life goals that should be in sync, but also your needs for a relationship. You have to have The Talk with your partner on holiday, especially if things have become serious. You need to ask them what it is they want from a relationship so that you can see if your desires match up nicely. If they want a serious, committed relationship just like you, then you can breathe a sigh of relief that they weren’t just looking for a fling.
Having The Talk with your partner on holiday is also important so you can find out if he’s exclusive with you or not. If he’s been dating other women during his vacation, this is a clear sign that he’s not looking for anything serious with you. Just think: if you try to make a relationship work with this person, the fact that they’re not exclusive just adds another layer of difficulty to the situation. As Huffington Post reports, it’s unlikely the person you meet during your holiday will live in the same city or country, so you’ll have to have a long-distance relationship. That’s difficult enough, so you don’t want to be attempting this with someone who isn’t even serious about you!
If you’ve expressed to your partner that you’d like to see him again after the holiday and he can’t seem to give you a straight answer, or he finds ways to change the subject so he doesn’t have to answer you, those are red flags that he’s not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Maybe he just wants to have an escape from his life and keep the holiday romance as light and carefree as possible, no strings attached. It’s a real problem if you want more than that.
If you’ve plucked up the courage to ask him for his phone number but he hasn’t given it to you, he wants to maintain distance from you. What about if he gives you his email address instead? It might not be good enough if you’re hoping to secure a relationship with him. Sherry Turkle, author of “Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology And Less From Each Other”, tells Marie Claire that emailing works well when things go smoothly in a relationship, but can be problematic when things are less positive because they increase the chance of miscommunication. After a holiday romance, you want things to be clear and smooth to ease the transition of your relationship into life back home. You want to feel that you can reach your partner easily via phone.
Maybe his mysteriousness was one of the things you first liked about him. It made him more attractive and intriguing. But after a while, that mysteriousness can actually infuriate you, like if you’ve tried to get to know more about him and his life and he just keeps shutting you down. If he’s not open with you about who he is, he’s probably not going to want to date you after the holiday. He probably thinks that it’s best to keep himself at a distance so that he doesn’t get attached.
How a guy treats you in the beginning of your relationship determines how he’ll treat you as the relationship progresses, that’s why it’s so important to take note of his early behavior. If the guy you’ve been having a holiday romance with has been a bit flaky, such as by not calling when he said he would or not pitching up to your beach date, these are bad behaviors that will only get worse with time. Plus, they’re signs he’s not taking you seriously.
After he met you on holiday, he said it love at first sight! Wow. Although holiday romances can be addictive and enthralling, it’s worth treading with a bit of caution. Take a step back and ask yourself, “Is it OTT that he’s declaring his undying love for me after meeting me?” or “Is it a bit too much that he wants to see me every second of the day and he’s buying me gifts already?” The short answer? Yes! If guys back home came on too strongly when first meeting you, you’d take them with a pinch of salt. Do the same with your holiday romance because if he’s rushing in, chances are he’ll rush off and never see you again with as much intensity.
You love his lust for life and how he wants to have lots of fun. He might even imply that he lives in the same way back home – he’s carefree and always chasing pleasure. Although he’s a great guy to be around because he’s always the life of the party, that doesn’t mean he’d make a great boyfriend. In fact, a guy who’s always chasing the good times (even when he’s not on holiday) is probably not serious enough to get into a relationship with. Make sure you guard your heart with this one!
You’ve taken time to learn about his life back home, and you’ve discovered that you have different priorities. You might, for example, be focused on finishing your education or following a career you’re passionate about, while he’s interested in traveling around the world. The problem with having different priorities is that they can clash, preventing a relationship from working because you don’t have enough common ground. And remember, your partner should also make you a priority. As relationship expert Alessandra Conti tells Elite Daily, if the person makes plans with you then never follows through they’re showing you you’re not a priority to them. Something – or someone – else is more important.
Whenever you try to talk to your partner about what will happen when the holiday ends, he tells you to try to live in the moment. This can be a way for him to prevent you from discussing the future. He’s having fun with you during the holiday and doesn’t want to ruin it with talk of real life. Although that might make sense, it’s troubling if things have been quite serious with you already. It shows that he’s not looking for something real outside of the holiday limits.
Although he might seem to want to have a real relationship with you, if he tells you he’s afraid to commit, that’s a huge red flag that he’s only looking for something casual. When the holiday comes to an end, the sun will also set on your relationship. He might not openly say he’s afraid to commit, so keep an eye out for signs that he’s avoiding commitment. As Woman’s Day reports, these can include not making future plans, choosing to do date activities so that he doesn’t have to give you attention, and telling you he’s not good enough for you.