When we’re crushing on a guy, we’re not just infatuated with his appearance, though it’s safe to say we’re obviously feeling attracted to him. The thing about really liking someone is, we’re looking at their physical features and we’re also looking beyond them. What kind of person is he really, or what are his likes and dislikes? Is there a specific band he loves? What genre of movies does he watch? What does he absolutely hate and what can’t he live without? What is he looking for in a girlfriend? Is he even trying to find a girlfriend right now, or is he choosing to play the field? Sometimes, even though we’re ready and willing to take the leap and jump into a relationship, the person we have our eye on might not be on the same page.
There are so many things to learn about a guy before you can even decide whether you want to date him! What’s his personality like? Is he nice to people? Can he make you laugh? Does he have a lot of friends? Does he have a lot of enemies? The list goes on and on, but what doesn’t go on and on are the little signs he shows through his behavior and speech habits. Is he ready to find a real relationship or does he have to grow up a little first?
Keep an eye out for the following signs to determine whether he’s worth your time or if you should move on to greener pastures:
When a guy likes a girl, he wants her to know everything about himself. This can mean he opens up to her about his past, is willing to discuss a future in which you’re together, or he’s only too happy to share the things he loves with her. If you’re crushing hard on a guy who is always introducing you to new and exciting things, specifically things that he enjoys spending a lot of time with, then he’s trying to tell you he’s ready for a real relationship. He wants to share his life with you and he hopes he can get you interested in some of his passions so you can enjoy them together.
Guys who aren’t ready for relationships with people won’t open up. They’ll keep to themselves and won’t volunteer any information about their likes, dislikes, passions or most hated activities. A guy who isn’t interested in a relationship is fine standing in the background, not talking about his interests or yours. He won’t say anything about himself and he’s definitely not going to ask any information of you. If you’re with your crush and you notice you’re always the one trying to spur the conversation, then he’s not into you and anything resembling a serious relationship is as far from his mind as possible.
If your crush asks you to a movie and you say you love action but he loves comedy, you’ll know he’s ready for a real relationship when he says you can compromise by watching a cheesy action film or maybe he talks to you and you both decide to watch the latest horror film instead. No matter the situation, if he’s willing to meet you halfway so you can both enjoy the time you spend together, it shows that he’s aware of your feelings and wants you to be happy. His willingness to compromise also shows that he isn’t going to let you walk all over him either – you’ll both get to enjoy the best of each other’s company without worry.
You want to eat Italian tonight but he wants cheeseburgers. In the end, you get cheeseburgers because no matter how much you begged, pleaded and attempted to compromise, he wants what he wants and there’s not budging him. If he’s this serious about what you’re going to eat for dinner, then how bad will he be when it comes to deciding where to go for a date? What kind of apartment to rent? What you wear when you go out? A guy who is unwilling to compromise – ever, even over small things, isn’t ready for a relationship, at least not a healthy one.
Any great guy knows he can’t just ditch his friends to hang out with you all the time, and he knows he can’t ditch you to hang with his squad every time they get together. What’s the rational compromise? Well, he can introduce you to his friends and all of you can hang out together, which is one great way to balance things, or he can give you time to be with your girls while he goes to spend time with the guys for a little while. If he’s ready for a relationship, he understands how to balance his time between you and his friends, without making either one feel left out.
Any guy who suddenly ditches his friends is setting himself up for trouble. If he leaves his friends every time he gets into a relationship, soon he won’t have any friends left! If your crush doesn’t have any lasting friendships, it could be a sign that he isn’t mature enough to understand that any relationship, even if it isn’t romantic, is give and take. If he doesn’t give his friends the time and attention they deserve, how can he do that for you? And if he’s always wanting to hang around you, guaranteed you’re going to get tired of it and want some space, which won’t go well for lover boy.
Being friendly is a great trait for anyone to have. If he’s just as nice to his boss as he is to the janitor, guaranteed he’s a good guy. He understands that all people, regardless of position, are deserving of basic courtesy and respect. If he is willing to respect a complete stranger, then chances are he’s willing to respect you. Need a little more? Take a look at how he treats his parents and grandparents – remember, if he’s kind to them, then you know that once he’s comfortable enough with you, he’ll be just as kind to you as well.
Guys who are rude to waiters but are polite to authority figures are not ready for relationships. He picks and chooses who to play nice with and he has no problem walking all over those he feels are beneath him. What if one day he decides you’re beneath him? You think he’ll have pretty words and respect for you then? Why take the chance when you can clearly see that he isn’t exactly the cream of the crop. If you’re looking for a real, mature relationship, don’t turn toward the guy who plays favorites, look for a guy who can be nice to everyone.
It’s really frustrating to lose a game, especially if it’s one that you love. It’s even worse when you have an audience – you feel like everyone is judging the way you’re playing and it can be difficult to keep your cool, but at the end of the day, it’s still just a game. Guys who can lose a game with composure tend to understand the bigger picture, which translates to a much bigger picture. A guy who can lose gracefully is likely to be slower to anger during an argument or other frustrating situation. Of course, there are many other factors involved as well, but he’s probably ready for a real relationship if he can be a good sport after a loss.
If you’re playing a video game with your crush and you’re dominating him, you’re going to feel a rush of pride and joy at how well you can stand up to him. You’ve got a smile on your face after your third win and you turn to him with a little teasing remark ready on your tongue but what you see isn’t the cute guy you’ve been crushing on for a while, it’s the frustrated, stressed-out, shame-faced guy who just threw his controller on the floor. If he behaves like a child during something as silly as a video game, how is he going to act when there are issues in the relationship?
Any guy who breaks up with his girlfriend but can still be friends with her has got to be pretty amazing. It means he wasn’t cruel to her – when it was time for things to end, he didn’t play games or try to lie about things. He was likely honest with her and, though it likely hurt, she was able to see that they can retain the friendship side of their relationship. If you’ve got a crush on someone and he’s got a few ex-girlfriends he still speaks to on occasion, or even hangs out with from time to time, it means he’s ready for a real relationship and that he’ll likely be able to stay friends with you if things don’t work out.
Not every relationship can end smoothly, but if every single one of his ex girlfriends hates his guys, there’s probably a reason. Sometimes guys aren’t brave enough to tell their ladies that the relationship needs to end. Sometimes he lets her know by ghosting her, or badmouthing her to his friends. Sometimes he lets her catch him prowling around behind her back. All of these methods are surefire ways to get your partner to hate your guts, which would be an excellent reason for him to have a lot of relationships and not a single ex as a friend. If he can’t handle a mature breakup, there’s no way he can handle a mature relationship.
Guys who can be open and honest with their partners are nearly always the best ones who are ready for real relationships. They already know how to share their feelings and thoughts, and they’re open to listening to their partners’ feelings and thoughts as well. If there’s a problem in the relationship, instead of sweeping it under a rug in hopes of it disappearing, he’ll bring it up and try to have a conversation about it. This is the perfect kind of guy to get into a real relationship with – mainly because he’s going to hold both of you accountable and expect you to respect him as much as he respects you.
If you’re looking for a great relationship, make sure it’s with someone who talks to you. We don’t mean a guy who is willing to talk about movies, music and other general topics, we’re talking about a man who wants you to understand who he is, what his secrets are, how he interacts with friends and family and who is willing to talk about the hard topics in life. If you have no idea what he’s up to when you’re not around, there’s a problem. If he often disappears with “friends” but you have no idea who those people are, there’s a problem. He’s not ready to be open with you, so you might as well save yourself some tears and look for someone else.
Any guy who wants you to be a part of his life will make sure everyone who matters to him knows exactly who you are. He’ll introduce you to his friends, to his family, to his pets and might even try to introduce you to his extended family! He’s proud to know you and he’s happy to be near you. He wants to tell the world who you are because you mean something to him. He wants you to stick around, so of course, he’s going to invite you to his inner circle of loved ones. He’s ready for a real relationship.
If you’re crazy about a super hot, really cool guy but you have no idea who he hangs out with then there might be a big problem. Sure, he’s willing to hang out with you one-on-one, or might tag along with you and your friends when you go out to movies or head over to your favorite hangout, but he never invites you out with his friends. Why is that? Is he hiding you? Is he afraid you won’t like them? Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like them? Whatever his reason, if he’s not willing to introduce you to his inner circle, then he’s not ready to be in a decent relationship with you.
Say goodbye to the age-old “wait three days to call” rule! He wants to talk to you and he’s not going to waste any time! If your crush is texting you every single day (bonus points if they’re “good morning” and/or “goodnight” messages!) then he’s certainly ready for a relationship! Not only is he actually into you, but he’s also ready to commit enough of his time to say hello, ask you how you’re doing and other small communications that help keep relationships going strong. He’s not afraid you’ll think he’s overdoing it and he’s ready to let you know just how special you are.
If you’re always the first to send a message and it usually goes hours, if not days, without being returned, then he’s not ready for anything near a relationship. It’s even more apparent he isn’t interested in anything serious if he’s willing to spend a nice romantic moment with you one day then disappears the next. It’s all a game to him – he doesn’t care about how you feel, only that you’re there when he wants you to be and you leave him alone the rest of the time. You’re worth more than this sort of treatment. It’s time to look elsewhere for a real love.
A man who is actively attempting to gain your favor is a good sign. No, it doesn’t mean every guy with pretty words is a great romantic possibility, it merely means he’s interested and he’s not afraid to pursue you. Remember everything else on this list – if he’s exhibiting all the good signs, and on top of them he’s also actively attempting to date you, then he’s more than ready for a romantic relationship. He’s not trying to hide anything, he’s just coming at you with an open heart and honest feelings. It might be wise to pursue him a little too.
He’s got the looks, he’s got the cool factor and he’s well-liked by everyone. Everything about him seems perfect but for some reason, he’s just not that interested in you. Is it because he’s just a tease? Does he like to make women fall for him only to hurt them in the end? Unlikely. If he isn’t trying to get to know you, isn’t trying to spend any quality one-on-one time with you and doesn’t seem to even like you, then odds are he doesn’t. He’s just not that into you, and it really hurts to hear it but if he isn’t trying to start anything with you, then odds are he’s never going to.