When a girl is single, she usually spends a lot of time thinking about dealbreakers. After all, deciding what she won’t tolerate in a relationship is a pretty big part of dating.
There are dealbreakers that are about little things, like the hobbies that a guy has or what his eye color is, and there are dealbreakers about more important stuff, such as his values and how he treats the people in his life.
Girls are totally entitled to think long and hard about their own dealbreakers and make a list of them (even just in their heads since they might not want to write down an actual list).
But part of finding someone to settle down with is realizing what a gal might be overthinking or what might not actually be as significant as she once thought. What if she meets her perfect guy and he has some things that are on the dealbreaker list… and she realizes that none of it matters because she wants to be with him?
There are some dealbreakers that don’t seem that logical when people think really hard about them, along with some that are definitely qualities that no one wants in a boyfriend.
Here are 10 relationship dealbreakers that are overhyped and 15 dealbreakers that should end the relationship.
Every girl has a type: a guy who has brown hair and brown eyes, or a guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, and so on. The way that a guy looks seems to really matter when you’re solo.
The way that a guy looks is a totally overhyped dealbreaker.
This really shouldn’t matter that much because you could find yourself falling for a guy who looks nothing like who you thought that you would. It’s not like you’re going to say that he has blue eyes instead of brown so you won’t fall for him.
Of all the dealbreakers, a guy who won’t stop using his dating apps even after you two have made it obvious that you’re going to be dating is a pretty big one.
You really don’t want to date someone who does this because it means that he doesn’t respect you and he doesn’t want to stop playing the field. Even though he says that he likes you, it doesn’t mean that much. He’s not as mature as you thought that he was. You want someone who will delete his apps, no problem.
Another overhyped dealbreaker? Saying that a guy’s job can end your attraction to him before you two even get a chance to date.
Why does it matter so much what he does for a living?
The truth is that lots of people change jobs a lot, or they figure out what they really want to do and make a jump to another field entirely. Just because you go on a first date with a guy who has a certain job doesn’t mean that he’ll keep that job. And his job doesn’t necessarily define him or make him a bad person. It’s best to focus on what kind of guy he is. And as long as he’s working and making an income and taking care of himself, isn’t that super attractive?
It’s common for girls to say that they don’t want to date a guy who still lives at home. You tend to think that a guy in this situation is kind of lazy and doesn’t want to take care of himself or do all the independent things that you do (laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.).
If a guy still lives at home and really doesn’t want to move out and seems so happy, that’s definitely a dealbreaker. It should end things because you don’t want to be stuck dating someone for a long time who doesn’t want to live on his own. If you want commitment, this won’t be the best place to find it.
A lot of girls don’t want to go on a second date if the first date doesn’t go super well, so that’s a common dealbreaker to have.
But what if the date isn’t actually an indicator of how the relationship would go?
He could be nervous and you could be nervous as well, so sometimes the second date goes so much better. The second date could prove that you two are meant to be together and you could make a real connection. Instead of saying that a first date has to be awesome or else, maybe try some second dates.
While you don’t have to reject a guy for having a certain job, you should definitely care if he has a job that he really doesn’t like… and no plans to quit or find something that makes him happier.
If you date someone like this, you might end up feeding off his negative energy and you’ll definitely hear him complain all of the time. If he doesn’t enjoy his job but has figured out where he wants to go next, though, that’s, of course, a different story and there’s no reason not to pursue something with him.
Another dealbreaker that should end it is if he’s not living a healthy lifestyle.
By the time that you’re ready to settle down with a guy, you’re definitely old enough to eat well and work out and sleep enough and basically do all the things that lead to a healthy lifestyle.
You’re not a kid anymore, right? While sometimes you love to eat pizza and have fun, you know that most of the time, you want to engage in a lot of self-care, and that means vegetables and exercise and all of that stuff. When a guy is basically living the frat boy life, it’s not the best look.
Do you want to date a guy who is messy? What about someone who doesn’t like cooking and also doesn’t really know how to make a meal?
Probably not because those aren’t super attractive qualities. But at the same time, a guy can change and start putting clothes away (or at least not putting everything that he’s done wearing on the floor). He can also learn to cook or at least try his best to learn, especially if you two start seeing each other and cooking is a fun thing for the two of you to do together. These dealbreakers are definitely overhyped.
It’s cool when someone is in school, whether university or grad school, and working toward a goal or dream. They know exactly what they want to do and the future is very clear to them.
It’s interesting and exciting to meet a guy who is so motivated, and you’ll love talking to him on the first date and hearing about his plans.
If the opposite is true and the guy is in school but doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, that’s a dealbreaker. And that’s a dealbreaker that should end it. You’re an ambitious girl and so why should you wait for him to figure things out?
It’s okay if a guy is living in an apartment with roommates, even if some people would say that this is a dealbreaker that should be avoided at all times.
There could be a few different reasons why he has a roommate. He could be just getting started with his job so he doesn’t have enough money saved up yet to move out on his own. Even if you don’t like his roomies, you can still be polite to him or hang out more at your place. This doesn’t have to end things between the two of you because you can still have an amazing relationship (and, hey, if things go well then you’ll move in together soon enough anyway).
It’s kind of funny that people say that opposites attract because when you think about the kind of guys that you’ve dated in the past, you probably had a lot of things in common with each of them. Otherwise, why would you have been interested in dating each other?
It’s awesome when you meet a guy and feel like you have so many things in common.
Not having anything in common is a dealbreaker for sure, and it should end things. It’s okay to want to be with someone who you can talk to about what you’re interested in.
It’s actually really cool when a guy is quirky in some ways. Some people include “a weird laugh” or “some quirks” on their list of dealbreakers, but if someone isn’t quirky in some way, aren’t they kind of dull?
It’s overhyped to say that you shouldn’t date a guy who has some quirks to him. This is exactly the type of guy that is boyfriend material. You’ll find him fascinating and you’ll always want to know what he’s thinking, and the conversations will be awesome.
There’s a difference between wondering if you should give someone another chance if a first date was awkward and convincing yourself to start a relationship with a guy who you know you’re into that into.
When you don’t feel sparks but feel like you should like this guy, that should end things.
Add this to your list of dealbreakers because you deserve to feel super interested in someone and like you can’t stop thinking about them. If that’s not happening, then it’s time to keep dating and find someone that you feel that way about.
A guy being mean to servers and anyone else is a dealbreaker that should end things. This is really bad and if you observe this happening, there shouldn’t be another date.
Even if he’s super sweet to you, do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t treat everyone equally? Do you want him to be mean to your family and friends? Unfortunately, you’ll never be sure how nice and polite he’s going to be to anyone that you two interact with if you do end up dating. It’s best to say no to this kind of person.
Saying “things should never be awkward” and making that a dealbreaker can backfire when you’re really into someone but things don’t get off to a super smooth start.
Sometimes it can be hard to figure out how to start dating someone new, especially if you were in a long-term relationship that wasn’t great, or he was.
As long as you two like each other and are kind to one another and want to give things a go, it’s okay to be a bit awkward at first. It doesn’t mean that things won’t be awesome once you get more comfortable with each other.
If he doesn’t want to commit to you, though, that is a big dealbreaker, and that should end things.
There’s really no reason to keep seeing a guy who tells you this because if he wanted commitment, then he would have said that he wants to commit to you instead. While it’s easy to think that he could change, he won’t. When you tell yourself that you deserve someone who wants a commitment, your dating life will go a lot smoother and make you a lot happier.
If he doesn’t love to text, it doesn’t mean that he’s not into you. It could just mean that he’s not super comfortable texting or he doesn’t text his friends or family that often so he’s not that used to you.
If you love to text and it matters to you, you can always tell him that and say that it would mean a lot to you if he would make the effort.
He’ll try harder if he really likes you. This doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker that ends things, so this is pretty overhyped. It’s also good to remember that what matters more is your IRL connection.
Why doesn’t this new guy that you’ve been dating want to meet your family?
The truth is that there is no reason that actually makes sense. He might try to keep putting it off but all you need to know is that he probably doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Because when you want to be in a relationship with someone and you care about them so much, you really can’t wait to meet the people who raised them. It’s so exciting to see where they came from and hear the funny family tales and just be a part of things.
Travel is a big thing for a lot of people. Do you love it and want to go to more places than you can afford? Do you dislike it and basically never want to leave your house? Sure, there are some in-betweens, and some people like going to certain places over and over again but aren’t exactly super adventurous travel buffs.
But for the most part, you feel strongly about travel one way or the other, and the person that you date should feel similarly to you.
It’s a dealbreaker when you two aren’t seeing eye to eye on this subject because if you want to travel a lot, you want your partner to come with you. And you don’t want him to travel the world and leave you sitting at home, either.
Everyone has a different type. Your type might be hipster guys… or you might like guys who are preppy or nothing like a hipster.
Making this your dealbreaker (you only want to date hipster guys or you say absolutely no hipsters) isn’t the best idea. What if you meet the best guy ever and he’s in a plaid shirt and beanie so you think that you can’t date him based on your list of dealbreakers? Think about how you get along with him and whether he’s a decent person instead. That says a lot more about who you should be dating.
It’s sweet when your boyfriend loves hanging out with you all of the time, but it’s weird when he doesn’t want you to go for dinner with your friends or make any kind of social plan without him.
It’s not healthy to be in a relationship where one partner doesn’t want the other one to do anything without them.
This is definitely a dealbreaker and something that you should pay careful attention to. It’s also something that should end things for sure.
Whether on the first date or the tenth, if you and this guy can’t seem to really talk to one another, that’s a dealbreaker that should end things.
It’s going to be hard to be in a serious relationship with someone who you don’t along with all that well, right? You want to feel like you can never stop chatting with this guy and like you will never, ever run out of stuff to say to each other. You could literally spend ten hours together and still have more things to talk about. It’s totally fine to make this one of your dealbreakers that you won’t budge on.
It’s become pretty common to go on a first date and expect the guy to be totally perfect. He should have his life together and he should be funny and charming and attractive and every good thing.
A guy having an imperfect life is definitely an overhyped dealbreaker.
People in their 20s and 30s are still figuring a few things out and there’s no reason to expect perfection. No one is perfect so it’s hard to expect perfection from someone that you want to date. Focus on him being a good guy and the two of you getting along instead.
Even if a guy is super cool and you like him, it’s not that cool for him to always be in a bad mood. He might think that acting cheerful is lame and that he doesn’t want to project that kind of attitude, but that’s probably not the kind of person that you want to date.
When a guy is never cheerful, you want that to be a dealbreaker that you always pay attention to. You’re a happy person and you feel good about who you are. You love your life and you appreciate the things that you have and your family and friends. Why let someone negative drag you down?
The final dealbreaker that should end it is when a guy doesn’t say nice things about the dreams that you have.
It’s a big deal when you share your dreams with someone, whether on a first date or when you’ve been dating for six months.
It’s uncool if your boyfriend or the guy that you might want to date doesn’t think that it’s amazing that you want to achieve things. This is always something to keep in mind. Go ahead and chase your dreams… and find a guy who loves that about you.